manic mondays are my fave

or should i say uber fave?
gag me with a spoon.
like, grody to the max.
and stuff.

i'm back.
why?
cuz the kids are raptly watching bob the builder and i don't want to risk it by announcing i'm going to shower.
why announce it? you may ask.
well, if i don't tell them what i'm doing, it's even worse.
but if i do tell them i'm showering...
well.
they insist on coming into the tiny fucking bathroom and watching me turn on the water and then it takes a lot of effort to convince them to leave...
i had my first uninterupted shower in weeks yesterday.
cuz hubby was here and i told them if they bugged me he'd put them in time out.
i'm so glad he's a hard ass.
nothing beats the "should i get daddy??" threat.
now if only i could be the hard ass of my dreams.
err.
speaking of dreams.

kooky mother fucking dreams last night.
filmed sex, harleys and a protest march on the freeway, with hubbby passing them all on the shoulder...

i feel like making a list.
and checking it twice.
but no so much the naughty and nice thing...
just a list.
of what?
how's about a list of things i won't do today?

1. choke a chicken
2. read poetry
3. fork a road
4. get well
5. make hay while the sun shines (maybe after sunset..)
6. ride a red hood
7. place a mat
8. dust my house
9. bite the dust
10. clean my dirty mind
11. clean my dirty garage
12. take a shower before noon
13. have a duel
14. have a 3 way
15. have a root canal
16. ride in a gondola
17. go to the post office
18. bite you
19. win the lottery

so there.

wasn't that a useful thing to do?

i bought christmas cards.
i think i'll even work on them today...
no promises.
not that any of YOU are getting one.
suckers.

for the record, my husband's family isn't getting together at all for Christmas.
today is the 22nd.
stay tuned.
there will be a last minute thrown together something or other i'm fairly sure.
whatever.

we have a noonish appointment with MY family and that's enough.
and the best news of all is that hubby is overnighting my package to my east coast family so it'll be there before christmas morning.
which sometimes it isn't.
just so you all know, i'm a perpetual procrastinator.
it's closely linked to the post office, but i'm unsure of the exact correlation.
if i will be present for the exchanging of gifts i always have what i need on time.
so why can't i get things in the mail???
I have some sort of subconcious aversion to the post office which prevents me from executing the proper plan of action.

that was a cool sentence.

so anyway.
guess i'll go work on those pesky christmas cards.
and that pesky shower thing.
that makes me a bit melancholy...
i used to love showering.
now i dread it.
and the wrestling match that accompanies it.

fuck me gently wtih a chainsaw.