is how i would describe my triumphant return to the gym.
i'm a dork.
but it was great.
so i just spent the last HOUR digging around a shelf of dusty boxes.
in my garage, perched precariously on a wobbly bar stool...
looking for THE shoes.
my wedding shoes, to be precise.
but the shoes i NEED for my new year's eve skankfest.
i mean outfit.
what does it say about me that my wedding shoes are interchangable with a slutty outfit??
you know that saying, "it'll be in the last place you look"?
which is fucking retarded to begin with, because what kind of moron would keep looking after they found what they were looking for???
the shoes were actually in the first place i looked.
a box marked "lisa's sentimental crap".
i didn't dig deep enough.
and i stuck that box back on the shelf and kept looking.
gave up, came inside, freezing.
went at it again today with a coat on, like a non-mongoloid.
(if you've read A Confederacy of Dunces, you'll laugh really hard at my use of that outdated term...if you haven't read it, do so)
after pawing through every box, and coming up empty, i decided to give a few of them a second look.
there they were.
so i had to try them on, and of course, the blister i got from the gym today is perfectly situated to glean the most pain from the strap.
i like pain.
no i don't.
but i like wearing big ugly bandaids under pretty shoes, so it'll work out fine.
have i ever mentioned it's a good damn thing my husband's tall?
i love those shoes.
(why don't you marry them?)
heh. i sorta did, though...
well, they were there, at least...
which reminds me...
i really ought to copy some photo files up to hubby's puter so i can photoshop em.
if i don't post any soon, remind me.
that's an order, bitch.
my single friend has just decided to probably join us for new year's eve.
i'm excited, cuz we have loads of fun together.
and that'll give me an excuse to scope all the hot men...
"hey, becky how bout that one?"
okay, time to go take a long hot bath full of skin nourishing gunk, so i don't look like a leper in my lack of clothing tomorrow night.
oh yeah, if i remember, i'll take pictures of the final project, but don't get your hopes up.
i mean, i know some of you are staying home tomorrow night SPECIFICALLY to see pictures of me, should i post them, but really, go out, have fun, kiss a stranger...
but don't go HOME with one.
that's just not safe.
unless you're a boy and the stranger is a girl.
then you're probably okay...
and as a womanizing friend of mine always says, "if you go back to her place, she can't stalk you!"
words of wisdom, my friends.