it's done

and so am i.
but we now have babysitters (one for us one for his brother's kids) and a location--the top of one of the few tall buildings in Salt Lake City. okay, okay, so their phone system isn't working so we haven't purchased tickets yet, and we haven't made reservations at a hotel.
damn.
when i say a task is completed i guess i don't really mean it.
oh dinner's ready.
well, the potatoes are still baking the bread is still rising and i haven't chopped the veggies for the salad, but...

friggin idiot.

do you have the time
to listen to me whine
about nothing and everything all at once?
i am one of those melodramatic fools,
neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it

just a few words of inspiration from Green Day.
what does that say about me that i feel like they were reading my mind??
seriously, i should put that in as the description of this site, cuz it pretty much hits that nail on the head!

so, instead of the gym...
we went to mcdonalds.
pretty fair trade, in my estimation.
i mean, i could either burn 700 calories or consume an extra 4,000.
perfect.
happy fucking new year.

but seriously, i'm not worried about getting back in the swing of it.
it's been 3 dreadful weeks since i saw the inside of that beautiful building.
and this week won't be perfect, obviously, what with already missing one day...
but i'll live.
and i WON'T go to mcd's again.
i crave that stuff sometimes, so i have it.
but i don't eat it very often...
no more baking, either.
hubby wants to do Atkins.
i've sort of fattened him up...
he's 6' 3" and was about 180 when i met him.
he's well over 200 now, but i won't get detailed.
he's still handsome, though, just a bit of a belly....
so i told him i'd do it with him (erg, atkins, people, atkins--get those minds out of the gutter).
for moral support, etc.
and, hey, if i can lose ten or 50 pounds that'd be swell too.
okay, not 50.
i don't imagine i'd look very good if i lost 50 pounds.
I'm too tall to weigh that much less than one hundred pounds, especially with all the muscle i have these days.
anyway. who gives a shit???

i am the queen of useless information today.
so watch out.
cuz i might tell you even more stuff you never needed to know, never wanted to know, and when it's all said and done, you'll wish you didn't know!

still killing mice at the speed of light.
okay, so only 3 so far, in two or 3 weeks, but still.
that's 3 more mice than should have ever been in my house.
they are everything dirty and filthy.
and not in that fun way.

i'm everything dirty and filthy in that fun way.
okay, okay, so i'm exaggerating a teensy bit.
or a lot.
but, let's face it, you'll never know.
i could tell you i'm the kinkiest of the kinky and for all you know, i do strictly missionary position, with the lights off and my shirt on.
snort.
okay, that's just ridiculous.
certainly you know THAT's not true.
or i could be a fat asian man.
or a tall skinny geeky 15 year old (yes, we've already established i think like a teenage boy...)
or a 50 year old divorcee with a body like Cher and the oral skills of Monica Lewinsky.
actually, I'm pretty sure i could out-suck her.
or any of you.
bring it on.
ahem.
sorry, feeling a bit fiesty all of a sudden.
anyway, you get my point.
and it's probably not even fair to call it MY point, because it's one of those "stating the obvious" things that I love doing.
so a zillion people have already made the same point.
but i'll claim it.
and i dare you to contradict me.
nah, not really.
i don't like to argue.
well, i sort of do.
god DAMN i'm fickle today.
i mean, i'm always fickle, but sometimes i'm more fickle than a pickle, ya know? wink wink.
whatever the wink wink means.

let me just reiterate how excited i am for new year's eve.
super excited.
uber excited.
ultra excited.
extra excited.

which means one thing, and one thing only: it will not go as planned, or will for some reason fall short of my expectations.
one of my expectations is to kiss a girl.
i know.
i'll definitely keep you in the loop on that one.
or make something up.
whichever.
damn, but where did that sweet little mormon girl go?
she's lost so deep inside me that sybil's therapist couldn't find her.
stupid bitch.
better stay where i buried her, too.
if she knows what's good for her.