where to start?

well, first of all, sometimes i forget that what i see on the news is real...since nothing else on tv is anywhere close to reality--especially reality tv--it's easy to do. of course, when i was at the gym this morning (ha! who am i kidding? noon.) i was watching the news and i realized how horrifying it would actually be to have a massive wall of flames marching steadily toward my HOUSE. i shouldn't have joked about it in the first place. also, my next completely irreverent thought was: man those insurance companies must be freaking out. good. fuckers.

AND i got locked out of my house a few mintues ago and that was stupid. i took my kids out to get the mail and one of them locked the door and closed it behind us. good thing it wasn't snowing. good thing it wasn't cold as hell. good thing it wasn't hot as hell. but most of all, good thing one of our windows doesn't lock, or have a screen so it was easy as fucking pie to get in (warm apple pie, perhaps??). so that's nice. hopefully the neighbor's hellion kids didn't see how easy it was, since their bedroom windows are about 3 feet away from the window i climbed through. cuz...we have a lot of stealable stuff...funny thing is i looked out my kitchen window this morning (again, who am i kidding, it was noon-ish) and saw two little juvenile delinquents climbing through one of their windows. they saw me seeing them and got a little panicked. it was sweet. too bad they're not a little older.

which reminds me. i'm such a pathetic attention whore. there's the cutest little fat kid who works at my gym--washing mirrors and re-racking weights for all the lazy fuckers, etc. Anyway, he sort of follows me around and it's really cute. he'll polish the treadmill next to mine for a full ten minutes, or go orgainize the rack of weights right next to where i'm doing a bench press or curls or whatever. the point is, i love it. and i am ashamed of this. but only a little. attention is great.

what the hell else was i so excited to write about???

there was something, i just know it.

i am soooooo excited to find out which Bozzie I have won!!!

and just wanted to give a shout out to Jim over at Trudy's revenge. but only because it's really funny to think of ME actually saying "give a shout out". i mean GOD. I'm as honky as honky gets and old and just not anywhere near hip enough to say that. but it reads well, doesn't it? anyway, looks like a first post, but i have a feeling there are good things in store. I mean, after all, he has good taste in blogs. ahem.