Saturday, May 06, 2006

Perfection comes in many sizes and shapes

...but I haven't found my favorite one yet.

Mr. Husband is off on a grand quest for the perfect trampoline right now.
The kids are somewhat impatiently waiting.
I am pretty excited myself--they will have something super fun to do outside all summer!!
And I can sit at the kitchen table with my laptop and keep my eye on them through the glass back door.

I had forgotten about last night.
It was a date for hubby and I--
a celebration of his amazing performance review.
And, yes, a raise.
His boss told him that he has coined a term, "The Cameron Zone" which means a project is as good as done.
I don't think I can even express how proud I am of him.
I should probably whine a little less about getting ignored...
which brings me to our date.
As we got ready to go, he got a phone call.
He was needed.
So he had me drop him off at the customer so that I could go wander around The Gateway (this snotty little shopping district in downtown salt lake) until he was finished.
He guessed it would only be a half hour.
I was already starving, but I wanted to wait to have dinner with him...
I suck at being hungry, by the way.
I don't know if I've ever talked about that, but I have fairly sensitive blood sugar.
You don't want to run into me in a dark alley if I haven't eaten in 4 or 5 hours.
Hell, you don't even want to ask me for the time if I haven't eaten in 4 or 5 hours!
So, I know myself, and my hunger issues, so I cruised a drive through and grabbed a kids burger to tide me over.
It helped, a little.
But then I couldn't FIND the damn Gateway.
Anyone local reading this: piss off.
It's like it was goddamn Brigadoon.
(yes, I will be feeling the need to throw in theatrical references whenever possible now that I'm a reviewer of grand importance. bite my ass.)
(yes, I realize that's a link to the movie version. i'm pretty sure it was a broadway musical, but that shows how much i know...fuuuck...)
So, I finally found the stupid place, and entered a parking garage, only to spend way more quality time in the maze that is a shittily designed parking garage than I had spent with my kids all day,
and finally, blessedly, I escaped to the empty and ignored side of the underground structure.
I parked, in a huff, and headed to the shops.
As I walked, I gradually became aware that everyone was staring at me.
Ok, "became aware" is a little on the sane side: more like, "became extremely paranoid", but whatever.
Needless to say, I was not having fun.
I was lonely and hungry and my feet started to hurt.
I saw a friendly, safe place to shop: Brookstone.
I thought I could find gifts for my parents' recent birthdays, but no.
There was nothing.
I finally made me way to the far end of the shopping complex and saw, like a long lost friend--Barnes and Noble!
I bought some great books for the kids (Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, and a couple of Roal Dahls) and The Hobbit and Strunk & White's Elements of Style for myself.
Oh happy days!
It was then that Mr. Husband called to say he was finished, and that I should come and get him.
"Ha!" I said. "I don't even know where I am, let alone where the fuck the car is!"
He laughed at me, and he told me to call him when I left the store, and that he would start walking.
We met, without much trouble, and found a place to eat.
So that's when the evening got good.
And we went to the sex toy store and bought some.
(Toys, not sex.)
There was ACTUALLY a hand-penned sign, at the entrance to the "adults only" part of the shop stating, "NO BABIES PLEASE! It's the law!"
That cracked me seriously up.
No, I'm not telling you what we got.
That's private.

And now I'm watching the Dark Crystal with my kiddos...

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