Friday, May 19, 2006

Fourteen hundred and SIXTY-two...

Columbus was...eleven.
Yes, I knew his birth year without looking it up, didn't YOU??
(Note: today is Liar Liar Plants For Hire Day.)

Today is also a day in which Lisa does an experiment to see if eating the top half of 3 cupcakes is a good home remedy for cramps.
So far so good.
As an aside, two 5 year olds on a love seat jostling about in the proximity of one's lap is NOT a good remedy.
For anything.

Today was their Kindergarten Spring Program thingy.
It was super-cute.
They each had a little line to say, and, I can tell you this cuz you won't tattle, but Oliver said his way too fast.
They both refused to sing, but I knew that before hand.
Max covered his ears every time we clapped, and the dumbasses who organized it had them sitting on opposite sides of the stage.
I did some STELLAR panning, I tell you what!
Nice and wobbly, with some fat lady's head in it
(she, incidentally, did not sing either...boy, that show went on forEVER!)
p.s. this reminds me of why I am currently a bit of a fat lady myself: karma.
Bah humbug.
So anyway, the program was wonderful and the boys were the handsomest ones there, obviously.
And next week they don't have school at all because they'll be going in for individual appointments with the teacher to do an assessment test.
Then the following week is no school monday, field trip tuesday, field day wednesday, LAST DAY thursday!!!
I'm still not sure how I feel about a whole summer back on full-time Mom duty...
At least we can be lazy and carefree, right?
Swimming and jumping and hiking and gym-ing...doesn't sound so lazy, after all...that was in reference to what time I'll roll ever so squishily out of bed: noon.
Ok, ok, more like 8, but it'll feel so decadent!!!

So last night we went to sing karaoke because the fancy struck us.
It was silly.
As you know, Becky and I sing karaoke together quite often.
Astoundingly enough, we have never burst out laughing during a song and been unable to stop...
until last night, that is.
We were cruisin' through a lovely rendition of the Eagles classic (no, I didn't forget the apostrophe, it's like "the Pearl Jam classic", not "pearl jam's classic"...pearl....jam....edddddie....siiiiiiiiigh....)
--rendition of the Eagles classic "Take It Easy," when the second occurence of the line, "I was runnin' down the road tryin' to loosen my load--" came around.
Becky leaned into me and whispered, "Loosen...your load!"
I knew what she meant by the way she said it, and started giggling.
"How about some kaeopectate?" I whispered back.
We did one more line of the song, and then she said, "Don't you mean Ex-Lax?"
That did it.
I was done.
I couldn't stop giggling.
I tried SO hard.
and, I mean...technically, it's not really that funny to confuse a popularly advertised diarhea medicine with a well-known laxative, but somehow the fact that our lovely little song had taken such a foul turn just tickled my funny bone.
and then there's the fact that once you start laughing in front of a group of people, it's nearly impossible to stop.
So that was...
It was not nearly as embarassing as the song list.
The choices were limited to:
tons of country
tons of lounge-singers (tom jones, ENGLEBERT frickin HUMPERDINK!)
and the strangest selections from rock albums that I've ever seen.
The Pearl Jam list was:
**I am Mine
**Last Kiss
Each artist we checked had one well-known song and maybe one or two others that we had never heard of.
Nirvana only had ONE, "You know you're right," which I love, but come on, they had some hits!
It was disturbing on several levels, and made me want to punch the host guy in the nutsack.
Anyway, we saved face with our performance of "Yesterday", by The Beatles, but I wanted to laugh so badly...
Did anyone ever notice how DIRTY this verse is???
"Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
oh, yesterday came suddenly "
First of all, we're girls, so losing half our man-hood struck me as silly,
then the shadow hanging over me could be the half that's missing...
and then when mind was already gurgling through the silliness of all that,
I got smacked with "came suddenly"???
I choked back my laughter out of pride.
Good times.
And we never did get J to join us for a song, but she will.
Oh, she will.

That is all for now.
Oh, the 1462 thing is how many posts I've done so far.
No FRIGGING wonder I'm burned out.
Oh, one more thing: I think I should found a religion and be a priestess, cuz that line of that song is wicked.
there is something about the word "priestess".
I wonder why? Maybe it's the mysticism, the way it exists in some entirely unorthodox sphere, and is often associated with "dark arts"...?
I, for the record, am not even remotely attracted to (or by) the thought of dark arts.
Pesky mormon upbringing.

If anyone needs me, I'll be planting flowers and fruit.
Have a happy-happy

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