Friday, November 04, 2005


I was doing a little catching up over at Malone’s place.
That guy’s going to be famous.
Possibly posthumously, but that’s cool.
Anywho, his list of things to do reminded me that I am passively ignoring one of my important goals.
Probably because I’m more afraid to die than I was when I vowed I would do this thing.
I'm going to dive before I turn 31, if I remember.  
Deadlines are important for finishing pieces of writing, but otherwise they bore me.
They elude me.  
They taunt me.  
They fucking scrape their nails down a very long chalkboard...  
and I think I just hit my stride for that god damn "chant poem" that I have due tomorrow.  
What the bloody fucking hell is a CHANT POEM?  
Ok, so my prof defined it for me, but fuck me sideways if I'd ever heard of it before.  
My biggest fan is about to turn against me, I can feel it.  
Essay section A, short sotry section A, poetry section, FFFFFFFFFF
And he’ll write it that many times because that's how bad it'll be.  
like an F to the 43rd power.
or not.
And I was wrong about the poem,
But I will go work on it now.

I bought this beer the other night.

And I kept giggling and telling my husband that it was because he’s up Bitch Creek without a paddle…
It really would have been funnier if I wasn’t so bitchy that night.
That’s precisely why it was funny!!

Sometimes I feel like the world has ears.
I will feel sad about something—
Hurt, left out, distanced.
And then I will turn away for a moment,
To wipe a tear (haahahaha, ok, let’s not get THAT dramatic)
And when I turn back, the scene has shifted just enough, so that I am a part of it all again.
So that I am swirled into the mixture of colors there.
I am so glad that life is ever-changing.
Hell, today alone I had 14 different moods.
And I’m still not even close to caught up on my emails or assignments….
For the moment those tasks undone are not plaguing my mind and raising my blood pressure.
But they will.

Instead, I'll focus on tomorrow morning.
8 am, we're hitting the road, for points south.
and points red.
and points read...
and points drunk.
and It's going to be Marvelous.
I really wanted to make t-shirts for everyone who's going:
but, ya know.
not only the whole procrastination issue,
but I don't imagine I'll want to be kept from blogging about whatever grand adventures we have.

It is raining today
and I have spent more time in that rain, unprotected, than I can quite explain.
in and out and out and in and out
of wal-mart.
do I LIVE there???
I'm just a slave to a great deal,
like everyone else in this state.

I hear an awful lot of noise upstairs.
yes, I'm 99% sure this means trouble.
It's a good thing I love my kids and fear prison.
I do, however, wish that I was the master of my own schedule.
I wish I had anything resembling FREE time.
I think it will help a lot when the fantastic mr. fox that I married gets the boys their own computers.
contrary to popular belief, I am not selfish.
so, the little fellers use my computer a LOT,
and then I get anxious because I didn't have a chance to reply to emails or
write a decent post,
or just sit and ruminate...

One of my dearest, best of the best friends has started an online business recently,
and I am going to be adding her button to my sidebar.
You should all go check her out.
We went to high school together, in Maine.
She moved to florida about 43 seconds after we graduated,
and has only been back in the home state for about a year...
She's one of my top 5 favorite people in the world,
so I know you all would love her, too.
go be supportive.
Thank you.

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