Monday, November 14, 2005

Almost there...

No, actually I'm almost here.
So my little one is out of danger, but we still don't really know much.
they're keeping him longer, so I'm off to trade places with my husband.
I wasn't going to let him sleep there, but both kids were asking for the other parent. that I got a solid 6 hours of sleep, I'm not sure I could have made it through the night of sleeplessness that my previously well-rested husband just endured.
which was the real reason he insisted on relieving me.
I got my 10 page story written and turned in by 2 am, which I'm hoping was ok.
actually I sent him an email as soon as I got home, 10pm-ish, and outlined the situation--just to relieve the pressure for myself, i guess.
and now I feel a bit like you do after sending drunken, rambling emails to ex-boyfriends.
yes, YOU.
not me, as I've never done that.
ok, just the one, and it wasn't very rambly.

so we spent a grand total of 11 hours yesterday in two emergency rooms andone ambulance (how the fuck do you spell that??? ambulence? neither looks right and if you DARE tell me, I'll bark at you with the venom of a snakey dog. huh? you heard me.)
4 hours in the first ER which didn't show much improvement, so the doctors all said "we pass".
yup, the lame asses didn't dare to continue treating my son,
so they sent him to the Big Cheese hospital.
(no, it's not called that).
on the ambulence/ance ride my formerly super-sick-acting kid talked the EMT's ear off.
(literally. good thing she was a trained professional, and just sewed it back on.)
so that was a GREAT sign.
my little charmer...
so then we sat at the new hospital, in a highly uncomfortable ER exam room for 3 more hours, talking to 4 different doctors (telling them the same exact damn medical history) who all happened to be women, which is a cool and useless sidenote.
In aaalll that time, we never ate.
My little one finally started getting hungry, but we had the world's worst nurse,
and it took her almost 2 hours to walk to a fridge that was less than 10 yards away and extract a couple of chocolate puddings!
I dunno, maybe it was the spoon that gave her so much trouble.
we finally got admitted around 7pm and I just wanted to eat and go to sleep.
Unfortunately this meant that I had still not enough time to even think about my 6-15 page story that was due last night at midnight.
let alone add anything to the few pages I already had written (ironically, I started the story last week in the ER with peanut head.)
which is why I thought I would be able to finish it up while in the hospital.
stupid, naive girl.
there wasn't a moment's peace, and after we moved hospitals, my fitfully sleeping child turned into turbo jaw, and somehow I couldn't bring myself to say "sit there and stare at the wall for a while so mommy can do her homework." heh.
anywho, we settled into his room, we both ate--
he ate TONS, which rocked.

they think he has asthma, instead of pneumonia.
they don't really know, though.
and he's ok but he's not breathing well enough without oxygen yet.
grr and sigh and more grrs.

and then my husband showed up around 8:30 and yadda yadda yadda, me and the healthy (ish) twin went home.
I got him something to eat and read him some stories and took a little rest, by watching part of a movie with him.
He was up way past his bedtime, but couldn't sleep without his brother
so, then I felt a little better and headed to my office to start finishing my homework.
and panicked.
My brain felt like sludge.
like saw dust.
like a bag of straw.
like scrambled egg whites.
et al.
I wrote this crazy-sounding email to my professor explaining my day and insisting that I would still try my hardest to get the paper in, but that it would be past midnight.
so...because I believe in honesty here, and I don't think he'll ever find this page...
I'll admit that I really and truly couldn't do it.
I couldn't force 3 more pages of creativity out of myself.
I had a great start to a story, but it wasn't enough.
I dug through my writing folder and found the attempt I made at NaNoWriMo last year--
which happened to be a glorious 7 pages long.
so, I spent the next 3 hours revising it and adding a more full scene at the tattoo parlor, and an ending, however hokey.
I feel quite shitty about it--
if only because I know I could do better, and would have really loved to.
oh well...
it's here if you're interested.

I'm off to the hospital again, and kind of looking forward to it, oddly enough.
maybe I'll jot down that list of ten things.
happy monday to ya.

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