Monday, June 06, 2005

I didn't exactly go into the desert on a horse with no name,

but it WAS a strange motherfuckin weekend.
there were good times, fondue, and, headlining--clusterfucks.
the fondue party was great--
the prudish hostess even got drunk enough to try to kiss my husband.
it was hilarious, to me, because I know two things:
one, she's just kinda like that when she's really drunk, and
two, it would just freak him out if she tried.
so, I warned her of that, and sent her out to the patio where her husband and mine were smoking,
and she came back in and reported that I was right.
i thought it was funny, but the other couples seemed a little shocked.
fucking grownups.

so then there was talk of spending the next day on the boat.
wave runners, water skiis--
so, against my better judgement,
we crashed in the guest room.
mr. husband was wasted, plastered, drunk-as-a-skunk.
it was HIS idea to stay.
I was completely sober,
and really wanted to drive home.
but no, we had to do what he said.
so, we did.
his drunkeness caused severe hiccups,
which proved to be a great source of irritation for me.
he is a large man.
we were on a small(er than ours) bed.
each spasm of the sternum caused the whole bed to quake--
and slapped me out of my drowse with fervor.
He was sleeping.
finally I got him to wake up and drink some water,
and they stopped.
good thing, too, cuz I am not above smothering someone just so I can sleep.
I got up at 8 and showered, so that I would be ready to go at 8:20, as planned...
the people with the boat didn't call until almost 10.
and by the time we finally decided which lake to meet at, and estimated the time it would take to get there...
we realized it was too late for us to go if we wanted to be on time to pick up the kids.

bottom line?
yesterday sucked ass.
in fact, it sucked so hard, I'm pretty sure it left bruises.
the clusterfucks are too numerous and too complex to detail here,
but trust me--
it was all my husband's fault.
poor guy.

and today...
today is rainy and grey,
but I'm smiling.
eh, something like that Chili's ad campaign about ribs.

and I may or may not have skipped the gym today,
but if I did--
and I'm not confessing ANYTHING--
if I did...
it was only because my kids needed a nap...
dammit, I suck.
(and swallow)
I'm freezing damn cold,
but will that stop me from eating some low carb peanut butter cup ice cream??
hell no.
this girl has priorities.
...I may have a really poor grasp of the preferred hierarchy there,
but I make my own rules.
and one of 'em is:
ice cream before comfort.

since I haven't gotten around to answering the last few comments from yesterday,
and also since there were quite a few fantastic topics covered...
I'll answer them here.

Orange: I'm really not at liberty to discuss such things, but what I can say is this: Carefree are my faves and I've had no stubble issues as yet. ahem. how 'bout them Red Sox??

yes, whitey, yes it might just want back out of the room and close the door quietly--then run like hell.

Kiki: check! ...and, yum.

dammit, Walker, that's hardly the point! reading it at all was a bad idea! 16 hours, eh?? Mine only took about an hour...I don't want to think about that kind of pain, thank you very much.

I'm not sure I dare answer this in public, Kat...I never clean the thing. I can blow (and frankly, pick) around it.

you are truly an enigma, Mona! Just waxing my EYEBROWS is enough of a taste of the pain that would be encountered in the southern hemisphere, and I want no part of it! ...getting an image of that brazilian and it's making me blush, though...

Bud: check. and....I know I said so already, but I'm really excited about this--like to a dorky degree, so...many thanks. and, you guys? I'll post the lyrics tomorrow--it rocks!

ok, that's it then.
I think this post has exceeded the limits of time and space for today.
and that's all I can really hope for...

bon soir--

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