Saturday, July 29, 2006


I guess that's what I get for trying to blog on vacation.
While we waited for our room to be ready (check-in's at 3 and we arrived around noon),
we sat in the lobby and joyfully connected to their wireless internet.
Hubby joyfully played Warcraft (ok, I doubt he does anything in a manner which would merit that particular adverb, but you get the picture)
and I JOYFULLY blogged.
I blogged with joy and fervor, in fact.
I blogged with silliness and glee.
I was happy to see you guys--
it wasn't just a warm drink spilling in my lap.
Old joke...MY joke.
Don't steal it.
Unless you're D. and/or G.--or anyone else who thinks I'm clever for having made it up.
Where was I?
Oh yeah--joyfully blogging.
So I was toodling along telling you marvelous little martians about my trip so far,
and my computer got all huffy and turned intself off.
Usually there is a "low battery" warning.
But Nooooooo, not today.
So I decided to check our room just then, and it was ready.
(we had eaten a leisurely and lovely lunch on the lanai...I was going to say "patio" but I had such a lovely 'literation goin on, I couldn't stop...see? just like when I so cleav-arly left off the 'a' on that one word...)
Blah blah blah, so we get to our room and the wireless doesn't work so we call the front desk and someone brings us an ethernet cable but there is no cable box so we wait an hour for a new room.
I dozed and watched Jerry McGuire (Renee's eyes don't look squinty in that movie!!)
and hubby got irate with all the road blocks to his Warcraft empire.
And then we gathered our shit to go to the new room, and as I was putting on my shoes, I noticed what looked like a little lint ball in the corner.
A lint ball shaped like a tiny, black lizard.
So I knelt down and peered every so carefully...
it was.
Yessir, a dead lizard on the carpet.
I'm hoping it was stuck to someone's shoe and the vacume failed to pick it up...
I prefer lizards to spiders, though, so I'm not terribly worried.
Ok, I'm kinda freaked out.
And we're NOT impressed with the hotel.
See, we bought a one-year membership to a time share thingy to see if we liked it.
We really like the idea of the condo vacation home blah blah blah, and this particular company has a pretty flexible cool way of doing it.
We wanted Hawaii.
The other islands are the ones with properties owned by this particular time share club, but they were all booked already when I called.
So the lady on the phone said they are building one here on Oahu, and right now they're using a local hotel in a partnership and we could use our points there.
I figured it would be comparable to the condos we've visited and seen on-line.
Not so much.
It's just a hotel.
A run of the mill hotel.
With dead lizards on the floor and at least one internet-lacking room.
I don't actually care, to tell you the truth.
It's a tiny bit of a let down, when I think of the gorgeous little bungalows on the Big Island that we could have had if we had chosen a week during the school year, or the spacious condo on a private beach on Kuai...
Instead, we are in the city, about a block from the ocean, in a standard hotel room.
I know better than to bitch about it.
I'm here, and I'm excited for every last second of the adventure.
But the condo folks are going to hear about it.
I'll just soak up the sun and the seafood (ok, I'll masticate and digest that, but you get the idea...) and the turtles and the dolphins and...
I wasn't done bitching, hold on.
Back to the scene following my lizard discovery.
We walked out to get an elevator--
only up one floor, but stairs NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.
So an elevator arrives and it's mostly full.
Hubby shoves into it with half the luggage and all the room keys.
"room 314" he offers as the doors close.
I stand there, annoyed.
And then I realize I can't just get on the next fucking elevator because room floor access requires the fucking key card.
And he has them.
The stairs (which I finally found) also require a fucking room key.
I was stranded.
It's a good goddamned thing we both had our cell phones, or who the hell knows how long I would have sat there.
Probably until someone ELSE helped me.
He would have assumed I was waiting for an elevator and settled in with Warcraft, never to think of me again.
So I called and said, "I don't have a room key, so I can't get TO the room."
"That's ok, just knock."
"uh...NO. I can't get on the elevator."
"oh yeah...ok. I'm coming."
Took forever.
I felt like an idiot, not to mention my fatigue rotting away at the edges of each shiny little nerve, as I stood in the elevator alcove watching elevators come and go.
At least I got to unpack and hang up all my stuff and there are tons of drawers and plenty of hangers and I bought some fun new clothes before we left, and it gave me a thrill to see them again as I hung them...
yes, I'm a bit of a shop-a-holic, and I'm ok with that.
It's under control.

Ok...truly and really, I did not intend for this to be a bitchfest.
I did write you guys a happy, silly little post a couple of hours ago, but then I got on the bullet train to shit town.
I can't make any promises, but I am willing to bet that there will be a lot more cheer coming from me for the rest of the week.
...besides, blogs are way more entertaining when people are bitching than when they're gloating, right?
And...thanks to my husband's WoW addiction, I'll probably be blogging quite a bit.
Which is kind of ok with me.
Also, kind of not.
But today I'm fucking tired and cranky and I'm ok with some down time right now.
I will not, however, be afraid to go out and do stuff without him if he's going to be a party pooper.
I don't expect him to be one, for the record.
He's excited to be here, too, he's just tired and crankier so today's going to be all low-key.
If it doesn't look up after this, I'm filing a law suit.
Probably against that lizard.

Oh yeah!
And now that we're finally settled, I took an Aleve to battle the aches and pains associated with 1.5 hours of sleep before leaving for the airport, followed by a total of 7 hours on airplanes in more awkward positions than a chinese acrobat-turned-hooker and an ornery-ass afternoon.
On the plus side, I don't have my kids with me!
This would have turned ugly a lot sooner if I did.
Really, the day was pleasant up until about 2 hours ago, so that's not all bad.
I'm just bummed I lost the post that proves it!

Happy weekend to you.

1 comment:

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