Brazilian. Wax.

Tonight.
So I think I'll take some pain killers first.
And possibly bring something to bite so I won't scream.
No, scratch that--
I plan on screaming.
Somehow the idea of a hot gay man playing with my PUSSY is not turning me on.
At all.
I have a tattoo, but I'm thinking this might be worse.
It's ok, though.
I like pain.
Or at least I like living through it so I can describe it in detail.
But the best part is:
no need to shave the netherlands for a while.
Speaking of made-up words...
I was thinking about how pale my skin is, no wait.
I was thinking about how pale...something is...but I can't remember what.
Anywho.
I thought, "Pigmentally challenged"...and I giggled.
Cuz I'm definitely mentally challenged.
and a pig.
But my favorite still has to be "differently abled."
What.
the.
FUCK?
We're all abled in different manners.

I just got home from seeing the two newest babies in my world.
They are so precious and brought back so many memories.
I was probably a little obnoxious with all my "my twins" talk.
But oh well.
I tried.
So....teeny...tiny...sweet.
Hubby even got a little soft around the edges.
I looked up at him, as I held the 5 pounds of purity and made a little, "Aw..." face.
"No way," he said.
"Not gonna happen."
I kept puppy dogging it.
"You WANT another baby??"
...er, well...no. Guess not.
But awww!!!
How can your heart not be melted into a shiny little mercury puddle on the floor?
My baby hungry moment will pass as soon as my girl-parts get shredded tomorrow, don't worry.

I am at ten days til Paris.
I will probably be posting random lists of "shit I have to do" between now and then.
I apologize in advance.

--passport pickup
--make hair appointment
--reserve final nights of hotel
--buy eurail passes
--buy Loire tour
--ice down my ovaries (what? the pain will go that deep!)
--trial run of packing
--take extra suitcase for bringing back wine
--make list of stuff to take
--homework
--test
--pack for snowmobiling
--take a nap
--work out EVERY DAY
--eat nothing
--masturbate to relieve tension
--buy phone card for calling home
--get massage (from self, for pussy) to relieve tension
--go to bed

ha.
I am a dirty little monkey.
And yet very clean.
...but oh so dirty.
But tidy and orderly and sanitary.
but dirty in all the dirtiest ways.
Ok, my arm's tired--you can drag the horse off to the glue factory.

I think I will wait to post this until morning.
So there.
I wished you all sweet dreams, but since you're reading this in the daytime...
um...I'll wish you a speedy end to your work day instead.

p.s. led zep, beattles, pearl jam CDs for Jasmine's class.

UPDATE: stupid fucking appointment fell through for numerous reasons, the first being Brazilians aren't really allowed in utah and I got faulty information from the friend who was making our appointments. GRRRRRRRR. do you KNOW how excited I was???