is it wednesday?

and instead of hump day can it be "last minute jaunt to the bar for karaoke night" day?
or something.
got a drunken call from a drunken friend (cuz what is one without the other? they're like chocolate and peanut butter)
which resulted in the securing of a babysitter (summer is great for weekday partying)
and the rushing to get the kids to bed.
and the having of dinner at 10 pm or so.
and the stumbling into "going out" clothes.
and the dashing on of what i consider make up (lip gloss and mascara--whoa. and by the way, does anyone ever wear more than that?? if so, why? but i digresss...)
pitchers of good beer, and bad games of pool.
(one so bad in fact, that we prayed for our names to be called for our karaoke performance in order to be rid of the mother fucking game)
and it worked.
well, we thought they called us, so we reached the stage and realized he said we would follow the present singer.
oops.
[the following lines were scribbled on a napkin as i stood at the bar]
and there were two slightly off-duty strippers, although i use that term loosely.
(no, i couldn't resist that pun)
who were REALLY skanking up the place.
although...
it didn't need much help, frankly.
the bathrooms were the kind for which you use your foot to flush the toilet,
and your elbow to dispense paper towels.
and ALWAYS, i repeat, ALWAYS use the same stall for repeat business.
cuz...think about it: i figure you already HAVE the cooties from that one, why risk it?
and a boy sang--
are you ready?
Hangin' Tough.**
new
kids
on
the
block.
yeah.
i leaned over and asked my husband (through involuntary spouts of giddiness) if i could marry the dude.
he didn't particularly like the idea.
but aaaaawww!
such sweet memories of childhood.
and of course there was a slightly off-key rendition of Better Man (pearl jam) by two particularly hot girls.
...whose lyrics made me a little sad when i saw my husbands' best friend dancing--
no, he's not THAT bad of a dancer.
it's just that his wife left him and i have friggin PMS, okay??
jesus.
i mean, i almost cried when he sang (as a duet with my husband) Every Rose has its Thorn (poison--the band, although rather like poison for the ears...)
how is he getting through this?
losig his family?
his house, everything--out of the blue?
i couldn't look at him singing.
so i wrote this.
[end bar napkin rant]

the only reason i rushed to make this post is that i was afraid the napkins would get lost or used...heh.
now let me get the fuck to bed.
yes, you can come with me.
ew--not YOU.
jeeez.
what kind of a girl do i look like??
don't answer that.
but i'm serious, bubba--back off.
no, not YOU.
you are my precious.
ha!!!
did i ever tell you i have the LOTR Risk game?
and one of the game pieces is a replica of the ring???
want to know the extent of my nerdiness?
i wear it sometimes.
ONLY because it's pretty.
and i can feel its power....
(hahaaaaa)

well.
i hope you all had a less smoke filled evening, but one filled with an equal measure of mirth.
______________________
**DISCLAIMER: after reading my first two comments this morning, i realized some clarification was needed. when i was 11 i was discovered near a forest, having been raised by wild turtles, and re-socialized. However, the misfortune of it was that the family by whom i was adopted had daughters about my age who were involved in a frenzied star-worhipping crush on the members of the New Kids on the Block. I, HAVING NO OTHER SOCIAL KNOWLEDGE, happily joined them in this pursuit. as time went on, i grew more and more independent in my thinking and (thank every god anyone has ever believed in) i discovered real music.