good morning from wonderland

and by "wonderland" i mean--i wonder why the fuck i'm still living in utah.

so you know how they say a man's morning routine is "shit, shower, and shave"?
well, i'm thinking it's more like: "shit, shower, shake-it-more-than-twice, and shave.".
i mean, come on fellas--admit it.
you're all a bunch of dirty little bastards.
so, at least I thought that was clever.
(of course, my husband didn't think it was funny. but it just sort of came out...)

so, not that i care...
but i just can't NOT make fun of J-Lo today.
she's married again.
and i think i know what's going on.
well, it's one of two things:
either her life's dream is to be Elizabeth Taylor--and all of this acting and singing has been to that end alone--and she's sorely behind in the quota of marriages...
OR she's a huge prude and won't put out until she's married...
you decide.

we have the 8 year old here this week.
he's such a great kid--i'll even grudgingly give his mother some of the credit.
but most of it goes to his easy-going nature that he inherited from my husband.
cuz she's a certified Psycho Hose Beast (the PHB).
so we're having fun with him--and the PS2 we got him for his birthday last week...
NO, that was not our ulterior motive. ahem.
but damn that thing is fun!!!
and i hate video games.
and wallpaper.
but that's a whole different story...

i found the coolest roulette table set up for my dad on ebay last night.
so, for the first time in years, his Father's Day present should arrive on time.
you have no idea who amazing this is.
in fact, his birthday's in march, my mom's birthday's in april, and mother's day was in may--all of those gifts have been sitting in my closet since well before their due dates and they just went out this morning as well.
i have issues.
i am highly allergic to the post office.
i think i was there the day the infamous disgruntled postal worker incident happened and i've blocked the memory.
so i must have post traumatic stress disorder from it.
maybe i should get a dog.

so here i sit.
feeling like writing...stuff.
stories maybe, or dreams.
i'm happy, and sometimes that surprises me.
sometimes it worries me--can i be happy being happy??
and furthermore, who in the hell tricked me into being happy in utah??
crazy world.
crazy love.
crazy girl.

and just like that: it's time to go to the gym.
how'd'ya like that?
i like it just fine, thanks.
be good.
(and i don't mean "behave yourself" i just mean if you end up in the sack, be good at it, for chrissakes.)