Saturday, June 17, 2006

Smiling, unshowered, and nearing the finish line

I am, however, out of adjectives.
I am on film #40 or something.
I will go shower as soon as I get through the first drafts on the remaining 5 movies.
If I had the brain power to imagine an appropriate scene, I would probably make it an extra long shower, wink-wink, but christ.
That ain't happenin'.
...see what I mean?
"ain't" work its way into my vocabulary.

I can't seem to stop sneezing, either.
Last night was fun.
Someone took pictures, so I'll post one of the dress when I get them.
And will add "buy new camera" to my short-list of things to do next week.
A list that will also feature such items as "oh yeah...the GYM..." and "the floor could really do with a mopping. or two."

who ME??
Being dramatic???
My brain really is rather uncooperative, though.
It is like a sponge that has been wrung dry.
is 'wrung' a word??
who cares?
(that was rhetorical, dumbass.)

Tonight, drunken audioposting and karaoke!!!

Ok, I'm back, post shower.
My brain has actually melted and dripped out of my left ear, so I'm going to hang uot here for a bit while I figure out how to get it back inside my skull.
Hope you don't mind the company.
wait...this is MY place; you better not mind the company.
or you can leave.

But seriously...I came back to my desk after my shower and opened the next file on my list.
there was more blankness inside my head than the document itself.
I think I needed a longer break.
And possibly one unmarred and by the now-scarred brother in law walking past my open door while I was getting out of the shower.
Thanks, kids.
Been waitin' months for that one to happen.
Been shouting "close MY door!" during showers for months, and yet this time...
I heard someone coming and assumed it was my husband so I only barely (ha!) ducked out of sight, somewhere just before the last minute.
In other words, I'm sure he got a solid glimpse.
Oh well.
I'm sure it was a blur of white skin.
I'm not too worried about it, but I'm still going to pretend it never happened.

I also composed a little something...
something about why I'm so hilariously stressed out about this film project.
something along the lines of "I've been in a state of semi-hibernation and semi-depression for the past 6 years, living in a conveniently arranged little world that keeps me from feel pressure of any kind."
and it's true.
As I've mentioned, pre-twins I was quite a fabulous employee, a little ass-kisser, if you will.
with the rending asunder of my abdomen came the rending asunder of my world,
as I was numbly forced to choose which baby to feed first, which to hold first when both were crying...god, it makes my chest ripple just to remember those foggy, fat days.
And now I'm free from it all, as they have morphed, somewhat miraculously, into fairly independent, most amazing little-but-oh-so-big boys.
I've still had very little required of me deadline-wise for the past 6 years, so I supposed it's only natural that I'm noticing this in a big way.
Besides which, I MAAAAAAAAY be a bit of a drama queen.
But more than that, I am just wired in such a way that if I don't vent about something, or talk about it, then it festers inside me.
This is true for both the good and the bad things in my life:
all must be told and retold until I am emptied of its clutches.
For better or for worse, that's how I'm made.
I don't mind it much, except when I feel like I'm whining or bitching in an overt or heavy manner.
So there.

I know that God has already blessed Mozart, but I hope he'll do it again because the Man has saved my soul these past few days.
I can't work without music, but have gotten old and in my old age, those darn rock songs distract me from writing, so that just wasn't working.
I would make sweet love to his corpse if I could find it.
(ok, not really. that's utterly foul.)

the awards dinner was fun...
brother did not win, but just being nominated truly was an honor, as each of the other cnadidates was amazing as well.
my favorite sister in law and I had a good time making fun of mormons.
I'll have to remember some of the funniest stuff we said, and share it with you.

I think my brain may have sufficiently recovered.
I have 2 hours until I need to get ready and leave for my play.
Which I then get to WRITE about.

Just in case anyone's wondering:
I am still enjoying this project and am grateful for and pleased with the opportunity.
And it sounds like I was just saying that, but I'm not.
I am pretty darned thrilled by it all.
Just tired and sickish.
not to mention mr. husband slept all day instead of watching the kids.

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