Friday, June 16, 2006

Fri(ed Brain on Toast)day

Minus the toast.

Nah, brain is functioning on several cylinders, so it's cool.
I'm trucking right alon with my project, and that's even cooler.

Tonight is the formal dinner thingy--
Hubby's renting a tux and I got a faaaantastic dress.
And shoes...
They are gorgeous, and I'll find a way to post pictures.
This I swear!
The shoes, though...
I didn't try them on very carefully, because frankly, they looked perfect and technically "fit" me, so I bought them.
Upon closer inspection...
they are at about a 95% grade.
yeah, like on mountain roads, when it warns of a steep section?
I swear to god, my foot is perpendicular to the floor.
Them's gonna be wicked comfterbul.
oh well.
That reminds me.
Next audio post:
Maine accent.
and not only that, but Maine jargon.
And you guys can guess what the FUCK I'm talking about.
Winner gets...
nothing, of course.
But that reminds me...
I do need to finalize the ole Braless Tuesday calendar and get it up fer sale.
Especially since I'm not posting new ones!!
Hahahahaa--my evil marketing plan is working!
I'm going to be RIIIIIIIIIICH!!

Ok, so the dress I'm wearing looks a LOT like the one Baby wore in the performance scene of Dirty Dancing, but it's black instead of pink.
Sort of like the Marilyn Monroe one, but black instead of white.
...and did I mention it's BLACK?
I've also discovered that I can wear my corset/garters/thigh highs under it.
I am going to feel so sexy, I might even manage to roll the husband before passing out!
Hey, there's free top shelf boooooze, you can NOT blame me for planning to get tanked.
Yup, those shoes are going to prove lethal.
I know.
Oh well.
At least I'll die happy!

Speaking of dying or whatever,
the maw-in-law took her sons out to dinner to honor them for Father's Day last night,
and shared some very important news with them:
Er, well.
Jeebus is boarding his earth-bound shuttle, I believe is her suspicion.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and she for one, feels fine.
"Time is being measured in months, not years."
Well, piss.
There goes my plan for becoming a world-famous pin-up girl!!
Her sons had a good time making fun of her as they all hung out here after.
It's kind of weird for me to hear about that stuff.
The brainwashed part of me tugs at my conscience and wishes I would listen.
The logical part of flips that part off, gives it a wedgie, a swirly, steals its lunch money, and stuffs it in a locker.
I also learned a fabulous new expression for those rare moments:
jesus titty-fuckin christ!
...I guess if I'm going to use that, I better hope he's not homeward bound, eh?
Oh wait, that was John Denver.

Ok, back to the grind.
The fun grind.
And don't forget: Saturday is the night to paaaarty for my birthday.
Be there or be square.
I just remembered that somewhere close to 0% of you are within driving distance of me.
well, party where you are.
happy weekend!
don't forget the important Fathers in your life!

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