Thursday, January 19, 2006


They swim in the murky waters of my not-quite-there brain.
Never am I all here.
Always thoughts are truncated, disjointed.
Ah, sweet motherhood.
Rolling around on the thick carpet with a laughing (tickled) child...
He takes my hand and presses my palm to the side of his face, then kisses it.
O! such tenderness, such purity...
it nearly breaks the walls of my heart with the fullness of it.

Snowstormy week.
The world was crusted over with a heavy, relatively thin snow this morning.
The roads were clear so I hurtled across the wide valley to the foothills of those far mountains,
where my school is nestled--no, sprawled.
My smile is much more present these days--
I am exercising regularly again.
and I am fairly certain that is the way I lost my smile before.
My body was tired from too little movement.
Yesterday my trainer explained the exact type of exercise regiman we're going to employ to give me BOOTY!!!!
I'm sooo excited.
The other day he reprimanded me for holding the dumbells too loosely.
"Would you hold a penis like that? Come on!" was an ODD reference, to be sure.
Left THIS girl a bit flustered.
I tend to turn off my playful mode when I'm in a situation like that--
as in, I don't actually flirt with men when my husband's not around.
I'm very good at wearing the required hats for specific situations.
I'm still "me", just, ya know...kept in check, etc.
Anyway, he's going to make my ass grow, so that's good.

I just took time out to research airfare.
Now I'm terribly distracted.
Wondering how best to plan this trip of mine.
I think I'll have to buckle and call a travel agent.

and now I'm being called to the land of snowball fights...

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