Only have time for a quick post, but i'm full of such overwhelming joy that i had to let out somewhere!! I just went through a couple of boxes marked "Lisa's Clothes--Too Small" and put most of them BACK IN MY CLOSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!!! I have been still wearing most of my "fat clothes" as I like to call them, so I still looked a bit bigger than I really am. And wow, can I just say--I'm hot. well, that's obviously a relative term but compared to how I looked this time last year--ouch. I have the proper curves back and this hair cut is sizzling. Man oh man. if i didn't have so much to do i might just have to go take advantage of myself, cuz damn. I'd be lucky to get a piece of THAT! Okay, okay. I still have a little way to go before I'd be comfortable, say, naked but I'm looking enough like my old self in my cute little clothes that it makes me spastically happy.

Tonight is my "Bunko" group...I'll have to explain that at a later date, but right now i have to cook dinner and get out the door by 6. au revoir, mes amies.

Oh yeah. For fun, here's a list of what i drank in order of appearance:
1 glass heffeweizen on tap
2 bottles bud light (upon realizing how many zillions of calories there are in hefe)
1 shot Sex on the Beach (upon realizing how slowly the buzz was coming and how badly i was going to need it)
2 Jack and DIET coke (upon forgetting that i now enjoy beer and am trying to avoid sugar in my alcohol cuz it makes for worse hangovers)
1 bottle bud light (upon realizing one had been bought for me--the girls remembered better than i...)

And i even started on a completely empty stomach. weird. usually on an empty stomach i can be buzzed by about the halfway mark in a beer or about 4 sips into a mixed drink. which is probably why i then went over board and couldn't stop drinking.

Okay, so as it turned out I was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hung over to attempt writing more of my Saturday night escapades yesterday. Should not have been a surprise, considering i drank at least twice as much as it usually takes to get me drunk (although i can recall each drink and way more of what happened that night than i think i would like to...but i'm getting ahead of myself) and i had to get up at seven bleeding a.m. which is a full two hours earlier than my usual waking time...

Okay. So. I had a great time, first of all. A hilarious happy adventure into the land of drunkenness and watching yet ANOTHER friend travel down the girl-girl pathway...this is friend number 3, but so far they've all come back because let's face it girls--who could really give up the cock altogether? well...lesbians, i guess--that was a dumb thing to say. but you know what i mean!!! anyway, digression is my middle name; let's get back on track. Fairly early in the evening a 50-something man came over and asked the girls if they would go talk to his wife, who is bi and shy (they loved the rhyme, but he didn't get it...) so they did but then he wouldn't leave them alone. Then there was another couple who turned out to be my age ("the girls" are 2 or 3 years younger than myself) and my lifelines of the evening. I realized that on retrospect. I wonderd why i kept going back to their table with a feeling of comfort and relief: They were normal, they were safe--and we had pleasant conversation, so they were a nice landing point when i needed a break from watching one of my best friends shoving her tongue down another girl's throat...and then there was the point when they went in the bathroom for waaaaaaaaay too long and came out waaaaaaaaaaaay too satisfied looking...that's one good thing about having a female lover, i guess. sneaking into a public restroom with someone of the opposite sex for a semi-public quickie can be a little tricky (lookit that, more rhyming), but if two girls go in, no one's going to notice because they both belong there...although i'm sure people noticed because everyone in the joint was mesmerized by them...they're both pretty hot, by the way. So the couple that we were talking to, were very cool. they'd been married for 7 years and divorced just last year, but they still hang out all the time...weird. Dude seemed a little too interested in me for that situation. Told me I'm pretty which was frankly, quite a thrill because I haven't heard that from a stranger since before the dawn of time (translation: before i got married) and i was feeling slightly overlooked due to my companions...he also bore a striking resemblence to someone i know and it was a little creepy--but in a good way...like, i was drunk enough to leave the evening with this shadow of a feeling that i had spent time with the guy he resembled.

there was karaoke upstairs, oh yeah, i mentioned that last post. anyway, my burning question is now answered: i will never reach a point where i'm drunk enough to actually get up there. it's really not that i have no guts, it's truly just my lack of musical talent. i can hit a few notes, but that's it. i've spent too many years working hard to keep anyone from overhearing me sing to purposely go and blow my own cover like that. back in my religious days (years 0-21) i would join the choir out of peer pressure and lip sync, then in college i finally figured out it was a great thing, because i'm a tenor so i got to sit with all the cute boys. ha! take that you slutty sopranos!! i'm like one of the bad auditions from american idol, only i'm smart enough to know i suck shit. i love singing along at the top of my lungs when i'm alone, as we all do, and i've even ventured to sing along to the radio in the presence of a few select friends and my hubby--but only if the real music is REALLY motherfucking loud and still no girl songs. i can only sing along with men.

who really cares? My lack of singing talent is not nearly as exciting as grinding with two horny women, now is it? hee hee. i have to say i had more fun than i would have expected if she had told me before that evening, "hey S***** and I have been cruising down the Likki Likki highway, you wanna hit the bar with us?" She's smart. She knows me. I'm open and accepting, but you gotta ease me into things. they did a great job including me without INCLUDING me, if you know what i mean. =) and i really only experienced the same degree of discomfort as i would have if one of them had been a guy--watching one of my friends make out with anyone has never been something i enjoy--call me crazy. They started out with just a few quick little kisses here and there, but by the time I had caught up to their deep level of intoxication (they had a three hour headstart) they were grabbing and groping and tongues were flying...And we all danced and that was fun. There was one really hot girl who joined us at one point, as well as one girl and two guys who were not cute enough but it's nice to make people happy--i know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I'm not approaching a merge with the Likki Likki highway. I'm firmly entrenched in the Men-are-my-heroin Freeway and that offramp is just not one I'm interested in taking. Don't get me wrong, I'll smile at the billboards as I pass by, maybe even crane my neck to catch a glimpse of the L.L. highway as I cross the overpass, but that's it. I'm a satisfied woman. And by the way, that is my favorite phrase to refer to girls who are "experimenting". It is the actual name of a highway in hawaii and i might be spelling it wrong, maybe there's only one "k" and i might be pronouncing it wrong, but hey, you get the picture. or you don't--either way, i don't really give a fuck. when i was on that highway (the one in hawaii) all i could do is giggle. "Licky, Licky!" I'm such a Beavis. Man i miss that show.

I think I'll dedicate this post to my favorite comedian. wink. hope you enjoyed it.

okay. just got back from "night out with girls"...and boy do i have some stories. don't know if i have the energy to gix typos right now, so deal. one of my best friends, of 6 years, who is getting divorced, and I went out iwth one of her other friends....i joined them a couple of hours into theier drinking and wow. um. she and i used to pick up guys together...now, well, she was making out with the other girl...it is a bit much to adjust to...not that i object, i just was a bit caught off guard. it's fine though. and there was karaoke and a guy actually sang iron maiden, run ot the hills....and there were other people of interest. much too drunk still to think clearly about all this. had to get that off myh chest to avoied lying awak e all night. feeling a bit like raymi--posting whilst shitfaced, etc. god damn. not so easy as it may look, sound appear, feel, taste, smell, whateveer........certainly more tomorrow and possibly even typo corrections...hugs and kisses to you all, because hey--if she can make out with a girl, i guess i can offer cyber hugs and kisses to a bunch of multi sexed strangers.

found a great new site today. kids are actually waking up already...grrr...so i'm going to go. but check out bitchfest and get back to me later when i have time for you, god damn it!

Well, the sad thing about my life is that it's all the same...i was just trying to think of what to write and i came up with: my "job", my kids, my workout...Blaaaaaaaaah!! okay, expand your mind, girl.

I got a haircut yesterday. i love it. i've been needing something new for a while. in fact, i talked to a friend about 3 months ago who has a sister who is a really good hairdresser/cosmetologist/whatever the hell they're called. That's how much of a frigging procrastinator i am. just think--if i would have done it the same week i first talked about it, it would have been all grown out by now...well, i guess i took off about 5 or 6 inches, so not quite, but it does grow fast. It was down to the middle of my back, but because i colored it a bunch of times ove the last year, the bottom half was getting kind of dead. it feels much better now and looks pretty damn good too. see, i'm a natural kind of girl--in other words, i'm daaaaamn lazy. i refuse to spend more time getting ready in the morning than my husband does...i've actually given in and started wearing a little lipstick lately, though, just because the husband likes it. hey, whatever i can do--i aim to please. anyway.

i gotta go do some productive type stuff, but i'll be back. the kids JUST fell asleep, so i should still have a good hour and half, at least...plenty of time to shower again (made it to the gym for the first time since monday--damn parents visiting!) and vacum. i can never spell that damn word. i swear i learned early on that it was vacuum, but i could also swear that they've expanded it to one of those "two acceptable spellings" type of words. aahh, bit me.

hey there, world. it's nice to feel you at the tips of my fingers again. my parents are in town and even though i haven't been able to exercise enough self control to keep from compulsively checking my email every five minutes, i haven't had time to read or respond to any of it, or post here. it's fun, though. makes me wish i lived a little closer to them--say, three thousand miles or so...anyway. having tons of fun--read: mom's spoiling me. yeeee haw! she's so sweet. she's a fantastic seamstress so we're sewing me some clothes--i always have these cool ideas, but i am not skilled enough to execute them, so when she's here we usually work on them; again, read the "we" in the last sentence as "she"...i usually learn a little more each time, but i'm a fucking slow learner when it comes to stuff like that, besides the fact that i prefer to wing it. I made a great dress a couple of years ago, and it was the first time i had sewn sleeves, and since i didn't get what the pattern was talking about i just figured out a way to do it. totally incorrect, but worked out just great. anyway. this skirt is phenomenal. i just love picking out fabric and seeing in my mind how great it's going to look and knowing that no one else is going to show up wearing the same thing as me. it's nice. i might be a home ec nerd, but i don't care.

so who wants some of the bubbly i cracked open to celebrate the none too hasty retreat of one lame-ass no talent Miss Carmen? I was so poised to start a national campaign to boycott american idol if she didn't get her "can't hit a note with a fucking baseball bat" self voted off that show. i know, i know. it's tv. it doesn't really matter. but if you'll scroll down a bit and read that post...well, you'll understand. it's not about me actually caring about a show and its integrity and purity of talent. it all comes back to the really important things in life: how much i hate utah and why. =) time for sleep.

hope you all had a lovely easter. it was, at least, beautiful weather today. my boys had candy for breakfast, and that's never good...ugh. my poor dad got to see them for the first time in almost a year in a state of sugar high frenzy and post sugar high hysteria. He's so cool though. Didn't bother him a bit...although he did take a two hour nap(okay, that actually doesn't mean anything, my dad naps at least once a day sometimes more--he's retired, he can do that)...then there was big easter dinner and it was fun and delicious, etc, but oliver positioned himself on the screen door leading out to the deck and opened and closed it at least 4000 times... max finally discovered the little stone waterfall/pool that my brother made (their yard is gorgeous--took him 5 years of evenings after work and saturdays, but he did it all and it's really fantastic) and found a cup somewhere and proceeded to attempt to empty the thing...which was better than throwing things in the water, right????? so it was fun. my two oldest nieces had the prom last night, so i attempted to hear all about it, but they had already told all the good stories a dozen times and my kids kept interupting, so it wasn't as satisfying as i had hoped. they're so cute!! they remind me of my sister and i, as far as birth order and personality traits. and they're such gooooooooood kids and pretty and smart. I LOOOOOOOVE my family, and i don't mean that in a sappy way, i just mean i have so much fun with my brothers and their families. there's always lots of laughing and stuff. they're at least half the reason i can handle being here and am sad at the thought of leaving--even though i do hate it. utah sucks. let's not forget that important fact.

oh, i am so incredibly proud of myself--i only had one donut. just one. and i didn't even have to talk myself into it, i just really didn't want more. and today after lunch, i didn't have any dessert even though there were several options. of course, i was outside supervising the future pool boy and doorman, but still...i also left the remainder of the dessert i took to the party so that i wouldn't feel compelled to eat it. so there.

one of my best friends is getting divorced and today she was saying she wasn't sure if working three days a week was going to cut it, but she didn't want to just work more at the currrent job, so we were discussing job options...it got real ugly. she suggested whoring, and i said, "why not be a stripper?" cuz she's long legged, skinny and has decent jugs. Her response was so great, "Cuz I can't dance." I laughed so hard over that. but not as hard as when she was describing how much she had started hating her husband in the final weeks before moving out--"I hate the way he breathes, I hate the way he chews, I hate the way he fastens his belt, i hate the way he checked the mail..." the list went on, and my side began to ache...but, I realized that that's probably the point when you better be ready to admit to yourself, to your spouse, to any stranger on the street that it's over and there's no going back.

damn i hate this chair. would somebody please come over to my house and get my orgasmically comfortable chair from the upstairs office for me?????? this is pathetic. i'm even sitting in the chair that the kids knocked over so many times that a couple of the spokes in the back are broken and they kind of poke into my back when i'm slouched in the most comfortable position...not so comfortable now, is it???

anyone who's going to iron maiden in madison sq. garden can kiss my ass.

wow, so what's new? Um...i was up until 5 this morning...not partying, not playing, not loving, not writing (sadly), not dreaming. No, it was much better. having a serious discussion with the husband, a state of the union if you will...(what a great pun--I'm beaming with pride!) Good stuff. So needles to say--no, not needles so much as needless (and that was easier than finding the backspace key, trust me). Needless to say, I'm a little less than chipper today. I hate getting only 3 hours of sleep. Hell, I hate getting fewer than 10 hours!!! Oh well.

I'm listening to some recommended Anthrax right now--goooooood stuff.

We're going to look at cars today. I'm kind of excited. We were planning on getting me a Trailblazer, but as much as love such things, I'd really rather have something a little more fuel efficient--i have a little bit of a conscience at least...I love the internet. i"ve been comparing models all week, trying to figure out what i want and all from the comfort of my own hard kitchen chair...this thing SUCKS! I am too lazy to go upstairs and use my docking station and 21 mutherfucking inch monitor and my gorgeous plush, adjustable, rolly office chair. Hey--it requires unplugging my computer and walking like 86 steps, some of which are stairs, so I mean, come on. Is it a wonder to any of you that i require a gym to burn calories?? I am probably the laziest son of a bitch alive--but only because i am giggling at the fact that i called myself a son of a bitch, because i'm a girl and mom's so sweet--she's never in her life yelled at me. can you believe that? my husband can't. heeee heee. if he so much as gives me a stern look i get all pouty and tell him to stop yelling at me. it's not my fault i'm a whiney whimp--you can thank my mom for that. just kidding. i mean, it's nice to blame everyon else for whatever you can, as often as you can, but since my mom is about as close to perfect as any single human being can be without spontaneously ascending into heaven and getting pampered by angels and all that...then i couldn't really blame her for anything.

wow! this is fucking me up in a great way! Anthrax Crush. wow! I need to burn this and drive really fast with my windows down. oooooooooooh--workout tune. aaah. i have been seriously needing a burst of new inspirational tunes. that makes me snort. see, everyone here is obsessed with inspiration of a religious kind. blaaaaaaaaaaaah. when will i throw off this mantel of oppression (mostly self imposed, frankly) and feel free and alive again. oh lord. i love this song. i need to go for a run right now. gaaaaaaaaaaaawd. adrenaline. does someone have attention deficit disorder?????????

my parents arrive tonight. just to give you a hint at what an amazingly sweet woman my mother is, she's bringing 3 dozen DUNKIN DONUTS. Okay, if any of you were raised with those and have moved somewhere they do not exist, you'll relate, or even if you're a Krispy Kreme fan and have been torn from their vicinity...but not get me started on the taste test here...i mean, the warm glazed are pretty tasty, but the rest of the KK's donuts not even come close to a big fat juicy vanilla creme filled. i'm feeling a bit moist. (I meant my mouth is watering, you perverts!!!) This is how pathetically I am addicted to the DD: my parents land at 10pm and the airport is about an hour away. My brother was going to pick them up, since they're staying at his house tonight, but I sweetly volunteered. "Oh no, I don't mind. I am really anxious to see them!!" Read: I can't wait to get my lips around one or twelve of those marvelous pastries!!!!! Okay. i better go for a run, so as to burn off those 4.3 billion calories i'm planning to consume, before hand. see, i'm thinking like an anorexic--now if only i could folllow through with the NOT EATING part of it....hmm...

Now that i've recovered from the carmen scandal...allow me to take a moment to introduce one of the world's finest comics. He is the first domino in a chain of events which led me to write my book and start this blog and several other things which are not interesting enough to mention here. He is from the hometown and maybe i'll tell the whole story one day, but here's his link because, god damn it, he deserves it. Shane Kinney is a fine upstanding...um, no, that's not it. He's something else...but what he's NOT is getting the pictures he requested!!

oh my goodnes. i don't even know where to start. deep breath. I am an American Idol fan, and for those of you who know me, i'm not a fan of Utah, even though i live here...perhaps because i live here, but that's a different gripe for a different day. Today my friends, today, the gripe is about stupid, no-talent Carmen not getting voted off last night!!! what in the bloody hell was that all about?? i nearly threw my tv out the window. i mean, come on, people. she really sucks, like bad. probably 90% of her performances have sucked, and only 40 or 50 % of Kim's were subpar, maybe even fewer. I know no one ever said life is fair, but COME THE FUCK ON, PEOPLE!!! Do you all want to know why she had more votes? Do you? I'll tell you. it's because people in utah are SHEEP. not cute cuddly little farm creatures that are good for making sweaters, but pathetic uniformly following without a thought of their own SHEEEP. grrrrr. Everyone in utah votes for her like 60 million times because she's from utah. that's all. they don't honestly think she's better than anyone else on the show, and most of them probably know deep down that she sucks horse shit, but yet, they still vote for her. she is such a gigantic dork. she reminds me waaaaaaaaaay too much of that faggy BYU student who was on The Real World. and our stupid local news does highlights about her every tuesday and wednesday and last night they were saying how the phone company in utah was taking extra precautions so that "all the people voting for carmen can get through" and i just wanted to scream at them "Some of us aren't voting for her!!!!!" in fact, i almost voted once for everyone else, just to give her a negative one from me, but i'm too lazy. i mean, hell, if i'm not going to throw my tv out the window over something as blooding curdlingly upsetting as her dumb ass getting to stay when someone better had to leave, what makes you think i'd actually pick up my phone and dial it??? please. i've got calories to cling to here, people.

Ta da! I'm a real true working girl. I spent a whole 3 hours at the office--wow, i'm bushed. Okay, not really, but it was perfect. i was late, though. it was mostly the kids' fault but also i had to get gas on the way and i got lost looking for the babysitter's house...they all look the same here, really. and also, i'm TERRIBLE with finding places. i always think i can find my way back if i've sbeen somewhere once or twice, as a passenger...no, not so. oh well. my supervisor cared about as much as i thought she would. then, my husband took forever setting up my work station and then he wanted me to go do an errand for him, which i did but only because he thinks i'm silly for not wanting to do certain types of things and i knew he'd be impressed/proud of me if i did it...anyway, it went well. it was fun, etc. i'm just hoping i don't end up skipping the gym because of this. oh yeah, and one of the girls i used to work with (who shares my birthday and our first pregnancies had the same due date...mine came early cuz it was twins and she has since had another baby, but the point is we were pregnant together and it was cool) still works there but works from home and she came in to pick up some work today so we got to chat. i think i talked her into coming in to the office a couple of times a week, so that would be fun. we could have lunch together or whatever. She's writing a book too--how funny is that? and my boys had a great time at the babysitter's. i was worried that they would tear her house apart or swear or something...they say "shit" all the time. they don't really know what it means, they just like the sound of it so they say it over and over and over....my little turret's babies.

i did a little work on "the book" last night. god i love my book. i just need to force myself to work on it. maybe i'll work on it one day a week while the kids are at the sitter and just do extra hours of work at night. it's a lot easier to do that boring work with other stuff going on, like the tv or even the kids, but it's hard to get much work done on the book without some time to really focus. anyway. i do love it.

only 35 days until i'm in Maine. Could I be a little more pathetic? My parents will be here Saturday, and after they leave it's only 3 1/2 weeks until I get on that beautiful shiny jet plane. i wish i didn't feel so compelled to scour my house before they arrive--i know they don't really care if my house is spotless, and worse, it's not like i could trick them into believing that's just how i always keep it, because i talk to my mom for an hour at least once a week and she knows what goes on here (hint: nothing). Oh well. if it weren't for their visits some things would never get done...like dusting baseboards and washing walls...why can't i hire a maid??? oh!!!! maybe i can! i am a working girl now!! see, what did i tell you? i start earning five bucks a week and i think i'm queen shit on turd island and can start spending like a maniac. oh well. i don't really care about money, but the things it can buy are often alluring...how dumb did THAT sound????

so it looks like Raymi has abandoned her site temporarily, or possibly permanently. it didn't surprise me. she needed a break, i think. I am still really loving that holiday website. it really cracks me up. that woman is fu-neeee.

sorry, i've been such a slacker. I was actually in this extremely depressed state the past few days, so i didn't feel like writing. it was weird. The weirdest part is how i snapped myself out of it at 5 this morning (which is technically the middle of the night to me). I woke up for the usual reason, to pee. then i couldn't get back to sleep and i was laying there thinking horribly sad thoughts, and wishing that they would go away. Then a thought occurred to me...okay, nevermind. it's going to sound really crazy--and i mean get this girl a straight jacket crazy....okay, here it is: i just finished reading harry potter 4 so it was close to the surface, you know? and I thought, if these sad feelings were just a curse by lord Voldemort, then all i'd have to do is fight it and they'd go away. it made me laugh, and seriously it was like flipping a switch and all the sad cloudy gray feelings were gone. I should clarify: it's not like i really believe those feelings were a curse by the Dark Lord, but it was a change in perspective for me, a way to say, remember, girl, all you have to do is try a little harder and the clouds will dissipate under the rays of your sunshine. And this is how i know that i'm not "clinically" or "chemically" depressed. I am fairly certain that if that was the case i would not be able to just undo the funk. I just sometimes get super sad for a few days at a time and all i want to do is sit or lay on the couch, and do NOTHING. it's a pretty awful feeling and I'm just glad it doesn't last very long. I always think of that cute little black circle on the depression commercial, not wating to chase the butterfly...anyway, i thought y'all might be interested in hearing about my spiritual experience with Harry Potter...har har.

So remember that Job thing i've been talking about? Well, one fell into my lap, just as i had hoped. It's incredibly easy and flexible and it doesn't pay much. I'm realizing that even though I'm not working because I technically "need" the money I'm still more greedy than I would like to admit. I mean, I want to save up all my little dollars and go on a trip or buy lots of really expensive clothes or take my best friend sky diving...like i promised her last year when i tried this pseudo working thing before...see, that time it was actually the same job, but i tried to do it exclusively from home and it was hard to make myself actually do it. this time, i'm smart and i'm going to pay someone to watch my kids three days a week for about 5 hours each...we'll see. She's the wife of one of my husband's friends and she's really great with kids. she stays home with her two and she is just as calm and sweet as you could hope for AND they have a fenced yard, so my kids can just run around all morning in the sunshine. i start tomorrow, so we'll see...

I am a huge Led Zeppellin fan, even if i don't always spell it correctly, and I just noticed a couple of weeks ago a very interesting thing. I am also a fan of the Lord of the Rings movies--especially the second one (all hail to Orlando Bloom, right Nedra? =)) Anyway...I was listening to one of our classic rock stations, and Ramble On came on and I was so happy, filled with joy, singing along, etc. And then it came to the line that says, "In the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair. Then Gollum the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, yeah..." and I said, "Well, duh! I guess they're talking about the Lord of the Rings!" How funny. and please pardon my misspellings of "mordor" and "gollum" because i've never seen either of those in print before. i'm a visual learner, you see, so hearing those names, and all the other odd ones in the movie is actually rather distressing for me...i guess i oughta look them up somewhere, but come on, i got shit to do...(psst--i just looked up those two words and I got it right!! yay. i have always taken pride in being good at spelling...which does not include typos!!)

I saw About a Boy over the weekend. AWWW!! that was fantastic. I loved that movie. That was the high light of my depressed few days. =) And then i watched The Queen of the DAmned, because I read and loved the first 5 or 6 books in the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, on which that movie was based. However, I have to say i was sorely disapointed. god i can't spell anymore. Anyway, they rearranged so much of the plot that it was highly distracting. I spent the first half of the movie trying to remember which vampire actually created Lestat and then being pissed that they screwed it around so much. they changed it from some weird old guy creating him then immediately committing suicide, thereby leaving him a vampire but not knowing what he was or what he could do or what he needed spending hundreds of years being bitter and angry about that and finally tracking down Marius (who created him in the movie and immediately nurtured him and showed him all the ways of being a vampire) and meeting the queen of the damned, etc. so lame. Not to mention they didn't even mention Maharet's twin sister or the spirit which was the thing which held all vampires together and without whom they would all cease to exist. grrrrrrrrrrr. i wonder what Anne Rice thinks of it? I wonder if she agreed to all the lamed-assed changes or if she was upset by them. well i sure was, i tell you what.

So spring is here...again. God this place drives me crazy! Pick a season, for fuck's sake. We've volleyed back and forth between winter and spring so many times i'm feeling a bit dizzy. and depressed. Oddly enough, about the 14th time spring shows it's pretty face, you just tend to turn a little angry and bitter and disbelieving, and are overwhelmed with desire to kick that pretty face and run like hell, even if running will take you back to winter. At least we expect winter to be a bitch. I mean, damn. I'm all for sunny warm days, but when they're interspersed with freezing cold and snow it just sort of takes the fun out of it. I like feeling that deep relief, of "aaaaaaaaaaah, spring is here. no more cold, no more snow. just birds chirping and god damn flowers growing!!" but no, i have no such sense of security. i'm like a girl who's been cheated on 5 times by the same guy--the trust is just shot to shit. and for the record, once is all it would take for me--how stupid do you gotta be to get cheated on 5 times by the same guy????

Anyway. I get to hike tomorrow with my best friend. I probably already mentioned that, but that should tell you how excited i am. And we're not just hiking anywhere. Oh no, my friends. we are hiking our favorite hike in the entire world, or at least in all of northern Utah. It's about a ten mile drive up spanish fork canyon, then another 10 on a dirt road out to the back of diamond fork canyon, since the front is having major construction done on it, and then the hike begins. it's only about 2 or 2 1/2 miles each way, but the destination? the destination is pure heaven. It's a natural hot spring in the middle of a little river, in a narrow part of the canyon with trees all around and a waterfall...there is also an overwhelming odor of sulfur (a.k.a. rotten eggs) but one seriously has an easy time of overlooking such smells when the other senses are so pampered. It's a perfect hike, not tooooo hard, but a decent workout.

The only real live rattle snake i've ever seen in nature was on that trail. it was so cool. it was about ten yards away, just sitting there rattling at us. i was in awe. I've seen a tarantula in nature too, but that was actually on my least favorite hike in the world (not just northern utah). the tarantula was the only thing that made that a good day. that hike was steep and ugly and lead to a view which is pretty good, but can be attained from so many other places, that i've never felt the need to go back there. besides, it's a favorite of all the faggy BYU students, which i was at the time, so what could i do? Anyway. I do not like snakes, and i especially do not relish the thought of a rattler bite, but it was sure exciting to see it there, so powerful and beautiful in its environment, just daring us to piss it off.

god i love nature. I can't wait until my boys are big enough to really get into that stuff with me...of course, they'll probably hate it just because i want them to like it.

Okay. the creativity has been sapped out of me. must go read harry potter and eat oreos.

I just had the most relaxing afternoon while the boys napped! Usually I make myself crazy by trying to squeeze in a bunch of work and relaxation and emails and just end up stressed. Not today. Today, I took my new opera cd into the bathroom, filled the tub with hot water and bubbles and just laid there for an hour. It was perfect. Just what I needed to clear my head--i don't do that often enough. I even had a few minutes to work on my dusty old neglected novel. poor dear. If i could just get it all switched to third person I'd be so happy. I have a zillion plot changes I want to implement but i can't do it until i change the format...excuses are so fun, aren't they? I am really the queen of excuses. I have to concentrate on this and get it done. I have some good inspiration this week, so it should come along okay.

Well it was a good first day back to the routine after being "out sick" all week!! We went to the gym--which felt absolutely fantastic. I got a little light headed at about the 35 minute mark of my run, so i walked the last ten minutes--grrrr. Oh well. I did some new ab stuff today, too--gotta mix that up frequently you know.

Well, my best friend made it safely, healthily, back from Thailand. We're going for a hike this weekend to catch up. She's a fantastic photographer so i can't wait to see her pictures. She is such a world traveller--i am jealous! I got married, she got wings. Oh well. When the boys are old enough to not need a babysitter, I'll start travelling.

I found an interesting site just now called Girls Are Pretty. The author names each day as a special holiday of some highly creative kind--generally funny, always interesting.

So i'm still having kooky dreams on a regular basis. The last two nights they've been really warm happy dreams, so i don't know if that counts as kooky, but i just like that word. They still count as kooky, though, because one of them was about my date with Vin Diesel, which is about as likely to happen as that whole hell freezing over phenomenon that is so popular with the kids, and the other was about another equally unlikely romantic encounter.

Last night my friend and I successfully pulled off the husband set up--like a blind date, for our husbands, you know? I met this girl last year and we became instant friends--rare for me, i'm usually really slow to warm up to people--and we've been dying to hook our husbands up so we can all go out. Anyway, it went well. We had a buffer couple, which helped, because both husbands have known that couple for years. We had some wonderful Italian at a little place with white linen table cloths and good wine, and then we went to a comedy club, which was fantastic. One of the dudes, the headliner actually, was really creepy. a definite child molester type, and frankly he was just not as funny as the openers but it was still great all around.

i learned that the statutory rape age in Utah is 14, so if you're 15 and want to screw some 30 year old--have at it. Too bad i didn't know that back when i was 21 and shagging the 17 year old, i would have been far less skittish around his mother--hey, he was hot, bite me.

Okay, I'll admit it, i forgot the whole time change thing. when you have no job and pretty much no life, it's easy to forget such pesky things as that. But it also doesn't cause any embarassing lateness because there's nothing to be late for.

Skipped the gym all week last week, since i could barely stand and the kids aren't allowed in the day care when they're sick anyway. To tell you how sick i was, i didn't even realize i wasn't going to the gym until like thursday. Yeah, I know. Scary. I was totally out of it. I am recommitted (lordy i miss spellcheck!) to two things: major weight loss efforts and putting in substantial time on that god damn novel. i am just at such a "stuck" sort of place right now, though. i have to go through like a hundred pages and manually change the narrative voice to third person from first person and it's boring. i was thinking of paying my nieces to do it, but i'm too lazy--i know, that's bad, isn't it? too lazy to ask someone else to do something i'm too lazy to do...god help me.

Do you know who I love madly? Jamie Oliver, from the Food Network. He is such a sexy bloke.

WE're at 45 days from vacationland--waaaaaaaaa-hoooooooo!!!

well fuck that. i finally posted something, only it got eaten by the blog monster. oh well. it wasn't a very interesting post anyway. i have the hiccups--and i'm spelling it that way because the real way bugs me. time for bed.

Well happy April Fool's Day. I wish i had the energy to concoct some elaborate wonderful trick. But alas, my family has been sick for the past few days--all of us--and it's not pretty. I haven't been sick in a couple of years, at least, and the kids haven't really been sick this winter, more than a few sniffles. DAmmmmit. i hate being sick. i had forgotten how much i hate it. i have this wretched sore throat that hurts so excrutiatingly every time i swallow that i've considered taking up spitting. har har. still a dirty mind even if it is fogged up by all the different stupid medicines i've been taking. i think medicine is a bit misleading--they're cough suppressants and pain relievers, not things which actually cure a person. I wish there was a cure. Hell, I'd settle for a throat lozenge that actually put a dent in this horrible pain. My dear husband has even stayed home from work the past two days to finish recovering and to help me manage. He got sick first, so he's feeling a little better already, but it still sucks all the way around. I hate being sick!!! And if only i felt a little better, i could go have beers with my best friend tonight. She's getting divorced, and she just moved into her new apartment today so we're celebrating. It's too bad that it didn't work out, but we all knew from the beginning that it wouldn't. She's great, so hopefully she'll find someone worthwhile soon. If only my throat didn't feel like i had gargled razors, i would be fine. dammmmmmmit. I was thinking of pulling a good april fool's joke on my husband by pulling the positive pregnancy test out of my scrap book from when i had the twinners(yes, i know, that's pretty yucky), and telling him i just took it...however, i think that wouldn't be very funny and i'm just not into the joking thing today. i want to sleep.