Sunday, August 13, 2006

Perfection comes in small and unexpected doses--

Today was a beautiful day.
Last night, the lightening sprawled across the sky
above my house.
The thunder shook me.
The softness of the rain was almost out of place,
warm and smooth.
Jagged, sharp, icicles of light shattering the thick grey of the night sky.
I loved it.
But tonight...
was clear and coolish-warmish.
And when J called and invited me to meet her at the dog park?
"Fuck yes."
That's what I said to her.
I needed like our desert needed last night's rain,
and like dessert needs a big glass of milk.
Because I forced myself to think some deep thoughts today.
As I headed down the mountain (not much like an avalanche, more like a volvo...)
I sought the station that plays purely sappy-assed songs.
Found it.
And dove in.
Letting each one wash over me and pull old hurts and new worries out of me like poison from a snake bite.
I needed it.
Or so says the shortness of breath and heart palpitations I've been having.
I'm feeling a little more at ease, but was still a bit somber when the J-girl called, so it was perfect timing.
Best of all, I got to spend that best kind of time with my kids--
they were exploring this beautiful City Creek park/trails/river place and it made my heart soar.
It's like they really are little tiny Lisas.
(With penises.)
They wanted to see where every trail went--
"The forest is so BIG, mom! What if a bear eats us?" Not gonna happen.
"Mom, can we hike? It's great hiking weather!"
"Look! All 3 trails meet right here (stands in the center), so...we're in the middle of NOWHERE.(pause, reconsider) Well. We're somewhere, alright."
What the fuck??
Kids are the greatest little inventions on this earth.*

*except when unfed, unrested, or in times of generally brattiness.

The weather was absolute perfection, it really was.

I think I might have to go smoke something and get in the bathtub.
Nah, maybe I'll just pop a couple of Aleve.
Hm...natural or man-made?
Tough choice.

I keep feeling like there's something I'm forgetting to do.
Probably someone's dying because of me right now.

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