Saturday, September 09, 2006

I logged in because I had something to say

But that was an hour ago...
really?
I think my time stamp is off.
It feels like it was at least 3 hours ago.
Hm.
Whatever.

The point is, I am marginally "over" my tantrum from yesterday.
I realized I can't quit, because I have a 3 credit class which is tied into working for the paper.
Bah.
So much for my "I don't think I'm what you're looking for" speech.
Besides, that's bullshit.
I'm not sure what's going on, but I know he (editor) knows I can write,
and I know he knows I can do this job.
What I don't know is why the fuck I'm having such a hard time interviewing people.
Ok, so I've only had a few tries, and really no idea what the hell I'm looking for when I go into it, and that couldn't be good.
I guess I am just going to have to try to get by on reviews and a few opinion pieces...

Ok, I'm finished with that rant.
For now.

I have a much more exciting and creative project underway, anyway.
Outweigh,
Thatway
Yourway?
Whatever.
I'm brainstorming and will let you know if/when it turns into anything.
All that matters is that it's going to be fun and hard.
My favorite...
ha.

I am glad it's Saturday night, because that means the chances of anyone reading this drivel are very slim.
I cannot promise a better post next time, but I will sure try.

Whoever mentioned doing a story on my dentist did not have a bad suggestion--
he IS an alumnus, after all!
And a former Chronicle reader, to boot.

I also loved amusing's suggestion for a story, but...
since I'm supposed to be doing theatre previews, articles, and reviews, I don't think that'll really fly.
And it's precisely why I have no desire to be a journalist.
The news has always frightened and baffled me--
the collection of it, the presentation of it.
Shut up.
I'm serious.
I'm pretty sure it was just last week that I was proudly declaring that I should change my major to journalism because it was my true calling,
so....
seriously, who's slipping me the Crazy Pills?
Is it the same person who's giving me Memory Loss and Weight Gain Pills????
Fuckers!!!!!

Ok, well, that was my hot date on the phone.
She'll be here shortly, to escort me to tonight's play.
Do not let the fact that she's a former lesbian influence your interpretation of those statements.
Unless your name starts with a....
Heh.

Oh, I suppose I should mention how I've spent my day:
luxuriously swaddled in high thread-count sheets, in enough positions to make your head spin.
Well, they made MY head spin.
Seriously.
Almost blacked out at one point.
there were also movies and breakfast-in-bed and a bath for me/nap for him.
Very
very
Nice.
We haven't had a gooood lazy day in a while,
and we needed it.

I got home yesterday and the truck was not in the driveway.
I was slammed in the gut with a brief urge to puke, but it passed as soon as I realized hubby had probably just taken it for some cargo-related errand, but...
gah.
This morning we were watching VH1 Classic and Quiet Riot, "Cum on Feel the Noise" came on.
I didn't cry, but I was sucked into reminiscing about the funeral.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I am so emotional about this...
I'm a deep-feeler.
And it's strange but I really like crying.
It's when I think about him without feeling sad that I get freaked out.
I panic--"why doesn't it feel like he's gone?"
Oh, I also took the opportunity of a long drive last night to cry loudly.
Hadn't done that before.
It felt good to let out the barking sobs and suspiciously wail-like sounds.
And meanwhile I keep putting off sending an email to all the brothers to ask them for (content) contributions to the book I'm making.
Blah.

Hey, you're welcome!
If I can bring anyone down on a Saturday night, that just makes my day.
I think I need to start a blog for my thoughts on him.
Ok, maybe I already started one...
I just need to get un-lazy and use it.
Do you even know how hard it is to post to more than one blog????
Jesus.
it's like...so crazy, that you have to add extra syllables--
Cuh
ray
zeeeeeeeeee.
Trust me, it's nearly impossible.
I have like 8 with this account, and I
nev
er
use them.
I don't want to hear your success stories, so keep 'em.
In fact, keep the damn things
AND
fuck riiiight
off.
Or on, I dont' really care.

Ok, see?
I'm cheerful.
Be cheerful, too.
I'm going to go enjoy a super fun play with a super fun friend.

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