Good Night

and....good....crap, what's that word I'm looking for?
good fuck.
Yup.
I wish you all a good fuck.
Everyone needs one once in a while.
Say...once a day or so.

My body is achy, but my mind is clear.
The stress over the newspaper gig has passed;
my editor is the king.
He is giving me the city theatre beat--
and having someone else cover the on-campus stuff, the stuff I was stressed about.
I can have a lot more fun with the city stuff.
I still have to finish up the one I started, but that's ok.
I feel like such a slacker.
I haven't turned in an article for any of the last 7 issues.
Eek.

I am just glad the clouds have parted a little bit...
I was feeling very overwhelmed.

I am finally letting myself cry again...a little at a time.
It feels like months have passed since August 12, 10:30pm.
Not so.
Only 19 days.
That BareNakedLadies song reminds me of it...the way they count how long it's been since different things happened.
It's been 17 days since his room looked like his room.
It's been 13 days since they put him in the ground.
It's been 19 days since he sat on my couch and we discussed his friend's penis. hee...fairly large, so they say.
The crazy part is it really feels like he's still here.
It's been 4 hours since I told the kids to get the hell out of the bed of his truck.
It's been 10 hours since the sheriff's office called to tell us they won't be able to helps us find his other truck.
Big penis-friend has been driving it for a year or so and he hasn't been reachable since...19 days ago.
I saw him that day.
No, I didn't see his penis. :)
He wanted in on some hot lesbian action that G. was planning and that's how it came up.
Came up...oy!

sorry for the downer.
You know me: if it's in my head, it hits this page.
So...sorry.
I know you don't technically mind, but I am still going to apologize for not being a more entertaining blogger lately.
Maybe I should quit stressing about it and just do whatever I want, eh??

Maybe what I want is to go to bed and think dirty thoughts before drifting off to sleep.
....maybe.