I mean...
I had my path before me, ya know?
It wasn't the path I wanted, but it was tehre, just the same.
And now it's all gone and I'm happy with my new path, but sometimes I miss the comfort of familiarity.
Sometimes I miss the easy life.
I was just putting jam on a hunk of bread (jam I made, in fact) when I realized that one of the things the SoonToBe never recognized or appreciated about me was that I am considerate.
There are many things about which others have noted, things I value, that he spent 9 years overlooking.
And...
I'm sure there are plenty of things about him that I didn't value as I should have.
But I tried awfully hard to find all the good in him that I could.
Whatever.
I'm just feeling a little weirded out about the fact that Christmas without him will be happier than Christmas was when I was with him--because he was a Grinchy ole Scrooge.
And I have fun presents to open and great friends and family to be around--
and a babysitter for New Year's Eve!
...and a faaaantastic date to spend it with, if I'm lucky.
(Luck, in this case, equals his work schedule cooperating)
Anyway.
I apologize for the touch of a downer, there.
I am fighting off a coldy-flu thing and have spent the last couple of hours apathetically watching some unaccountably good soft-porn.
Ah, wait--I can suddenly account for the apparent quality!
See: fighting off illness.
Ha!
Seriously, though, I watched an episode of 30 Rock and laughed my pubes off and then somehow I stumbled onto Skin-amax...
I can't be bothered to be aroused by it most of the time, and tonight's no exception.
I should write that stuff.
Ok, that's enough of a schizophrenic post for one night, don't you think?
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