Don't tell anyone I'm here...
I just really felt like being this Me today.
I love the way I feeeeel
when I write here.
This is where I became myself, where I expelled all of my neuroses and fantasies from the corners of my soul, offering them to the world for examination.
My voice lost its dimension as I battled against the vise grip of my deteriorating marriage and I tried wearing other monikers, but none ever felt right.
So, I'll see how I feel about writing here...
I miss it.
I miss the way I felt here.
Here I am, coming quickly upon the 5 year anniversary of the start of this blog, and I am ready to return to it.
I am no longer a wife (well, technically I am, but in reality, the term 'Wife' has been fading from the place it was etched on the epidermis of my soul for quite a long time).
I am no longer bored--not only am I in college full time, but now I have joined the ranks of the toughest broads in America: Singler Mothers!
We rock, girls, just so you know.
Anyway, the point is:
I am neither a wife, nor bored.
So I guess that just leaves House...
Can I go by "House"??
...I am not British, I don't have a limp, nor do I look sexy with stubble on my chin.
I also was not in Stuart Little and I can be witty at times, but I tend not to be cruel with wit, especially to people who are sick or dying.
I guess House is out.
I could be the Post-Marital Syndrome Bored housewife...
the PMS BHW!
Ok...well, I'll think of a name.
Maybe I'll stick with Lucky Star or Back in Black,
but this site...
kids, there's just something about this place, ya know?
It feels like home.
I could be the Un-Bored House(un)Wife...?
I'll find something that feels right, I'm sure.
Today is a lovely, warmly snowing day.
B. is enjoying his first day of snowboarding and if I close my eyes I can feel the wind rushing past him, and see his grin--it's the easiest way to imagine him since he is such a smiler...
Insert dopey, smiling Siiiigh......
I am falling, but not as gently as the snow.
I am falling haltingly, giddily.
Lurching forward, I fall into this great, gaping crevice in the mountain...
What a week, what a month--
what a bloody YEAR!
I am going to celebrate the end of this year with the fire of new life burning through each cell of my body.
Time to start again, and ready or not, new year,
Life is good.
I have reached a new level of comfort with this life of mine.
Wow...the snow is falling in giant clumps, so soft and light.
It's going to pile up fast...
tomorrow will be some fucking awesome skiing!
...for people who know HOW to ski.
I will plan on taking a lesson as soon as I get there.
(And remind me to check to see when my Linguistics final is due...)
Life is one big ball of chaos, here, but it's a shiny, pretty one.
D. is moving away today,
Je. is moving away tomorrow...
Ja. is coming tomorrow to visit for the week, and then it's almost Christmas
and then it's New Year's Eve...
And 2008 will be here and we get to have a new President!
Wine and deep thoughts,
karaoke and deep laughs.
Dancing and pool--
the guy who used only one hand, because his skill is so refined that it isn't fair otherwise.
There was the karaoke dude,
with news of his far away friend.
There was my date, and his passion...
And there was the moment He told me something that made me shiver.
And on the way home he dozed a little and slid his hand down my pants and the music was soft and soothing and then we got to my bed and he awoke with a vengeance--
hours and hours of vengeance, in fact.
At one point I smiled into his glowing face and said, "No one else on the whole planet had sex this good tonight. There's no way."
You could say the divorce really agrees with me.
Also, my kitten is sitting on my desk looking out the window watching the snow...
it's so cute!
Here, I'll show you: