Mustard?
Whatever.
Over the weekend we spent some time with good friends,
some time with his family and some time with mine.
Well, we went to the Ratt-Poison concert with his brother, so that doesn't really count as family time.
Yes, Ratt and Poison touring together!
How fucking hilarious is THAT??
It was interesting.
As a child of the 80s, Poison was a lot of fun, but I had never been into Ratt, so it was hard to get excited while they played.
They put on a pretty good show, but I felt fuzzy and disconnected.
I rediscovered a bit of my energy when Poison took the stage, but I'm feeling so cynical in general right now that it was way too much effort to really be present there and to stop my thoughts from churning.
When they sang, "Something to Belive in" they had a handful of Marines come on stage with them and it filled my head with lots of unwelcome visions.
Standing there so young and so proud in their dress blues, with that signature haircut, I couldn't help but see a familiar face.
And then I couldn't stop myself from imagining the dust and gunfire of the Middle East and I wanted to shove them all into my pocket and run away to Canada to save them from going there...
The worst song, though, was "Every Rose Has its Thorn".
I cried.
As cheesy as it is, it captures so much of what we've been going through lately.
Music is far too inspirational for my own good, I guess.
But at least my husband was drunk, and he's a happy, sentimental, cute drunk.
And at least we snuck onto a golf course and made sweet love under the stars after the show.
I saw a shooting star over his shoulder.
So, yesterday was my first day of class for this new school year.
Summer is not over, I refuse to accept it.
It is still so hot and sunny.
Yesterday it was only in the 80s, though, so that was refreshingly cool.
Bah.
I can't believe I'm saying 85 degrees is COOL.
Anyway, it was a great day.
My circuit training class is pretty fun, although the instructor does not speak English.
It makes question-asking difficult, but otherwise it's fine.
The rest of my classes seem interesting and invigorating and I feel great about the semester!
It's going to be awesome.
Maybe some day I will be a writer again.
For now, I am a student and a wife and a mother.
That is more than enough.
I heard your voice yesterday.
It wasn't really You, but I imagined it was.
I wonder if I'm crazy, or just imaginative.
A little of each probably.
This isn't what I meant to say--
but I find the words stubbornly lodged in my throat.
So many words smashed together that I can't even swallow.
The only way through them is a scream, but it's lying silent, too.
I don't feel like myself; something is missing.
That something is unknown, just out of reach, but maybe I'll find it.
Therapy tonight.
And not a moment too soon, by the sound of that last paragraph.
Heh.
We have a new guy, I don't know if I mentioned it, but he's awesome.
Tonight is just me; should be good.
Today I will do homework and take the boys to the pool.
It is a beautiful day.
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