wednesday. it's wednesday.

well, super.

i still feel like sleeping, and i'm beginning to wonder if it's the weather.
or maybe it's just the winds of change blowing through an open window, settling the sandman's dust in my eyes.
in any case, i am fighting the good fight and staying veritical.
well, for the most part...
the other thing i feel like doing on this quiet afternoon also takes place while lying on a bed--or standing in a shower, driving in a car, etc.
no!
not that, you bunch of pervs.
jeez.
i was talking about singing.
just cuz i use a phalic microphone and it's no where near my mouth....
okay, fine.
i'm feeling frisky.
you got me, don't you feel smart now?

oh yeah, there's a new issue of Lick magazine out.
and i may or may not have submitted an article....
but you really ought to read them all, and if you're a woman--submit something.
i love that it's anonymous, but i'm always still half-way wanting to have my name on it.....
it's gorgeous.
read it.

and it would appear that Beef Jerky Good is back in action, although it seems there is a slight change in cast...more of a solo project by Mark, actually. but check it out.

sometimes i get really sick of myself--my whining, my rambling.
sometimes it feels like nothing ever changes, or even if it does, it'll never be enough.
sometimes i miss the way things used to be
but quickly remember that the good old days weren't all that good.
sometimes i want to do everything right, and say everything right so that other people will be happy.
mostly i want to shake them and somehow impress upon them the severity of their mis-prioritization.
sometimes i remember where i came from.
sometimes i remember where i AM.
mostly i just live--selfishly--from day to day and try not to rock the boat.
...or rock the boat just enough to know i'm alive, but not enough that anyone else will notice.
sometimes i kick myself for not finishing college.
sometimes i believe that i will grow old gracefully.
sometimes my skin crawls with the hope and passion and desire for life and adventure.
sometimes i remember that my BESTESTEST FRIEND will be here next week and we will drink from the cup of beautiful adventures--and i smile.
sometimes i want to run naked through the streets, sprout wings and fly over this valley of sleeping clones, sprinkling my own fairy dust of free thinking, self-indulgence.
sometimes i want to crawl back into my childhood and have my mom do all the hard stuff again.
sometimes i wish i could cry at a movie.
sometimes i am so content and fulfilled that i am smiling from my heart.
sometimes it is time to stop typing and go live.

it is hump day, as Timmy so kindly reminded me, so i bid you--go forth and hump!