seriously. i think i've been at a bar every night since i got here. or at least it feels that way. i have discovered magic pants. i am a goddess in them and it has done amazing things for me--the me on the inside. she needs a little soothing from the me on the outside occassionally.

And also, I FOUND IT.

found what?

found what???

yeah, i'm wondering what you found, drunk girl.

my groove thang, baby!!!!! wooooo!!!!!

see, i haven't "gone dancing" in so many years that i was the tin man--just creaky and stiff, besides the fact that i didn't know ANY of the songs they play (rap/hip hop) and that makes all the difference. it's the music that you love that makes you want to shake your ass (and watch yourself...) so, now that i've been out a few times the songs are becoming familiar and i just found it tonight. i mean, i was pretty damn wound up when we got there, and those magic pants. oh those magic pants!!!!! damn. i mean, i may not have my body back but in those pants, and with the right shirt, no one else has to know.

My cousin's son, who i used to BABYSIT was at the bar with his little girlfriend tonight. yes, that means i'm motherfucking old. hey, i was like 13 or 14 and he was like 9 or 10 so it's not that bad, but still. jeeeeez. i wanted to ask him about the other kid i used to babysit, the one i've heard is doing heroin now...but i couldn't do it. i didn't want to know it's true. but i do want to see him. i don't know why i'm so compelled to see him--what the hell am i going to do? single handedly convince him that he has so much potential and there's more to life than shooting up? i doubt it. but at least i could see those haunting eyes again.

faaaaaaaaaaaack. i am trying to wind down. i neeeeeed some sleep. i will have my darling cuddly husband here in my bed in just under 48 hours.......aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..............i glove him. he's my lobster.

Oh! and i almost forgot!! a barrel chested, gray bearded dude (50 something) asked me for a hug, which i politely declined, but when he admitted that he has two harleys...well, i'm not ashamed to admit i relented. hell, after another drink i probably would have flashed him. i have such a wretched weakness for those throbbing, growling lumps of steel. yum.

Kevynn malone wrote the most sumptuous little piece, and i encourage you all to check it out.