Monday, July 28, 2008

It's official!

I am officially moving!
It still sort of feels like a dream, or a non-reality at the very least.
But it is official.
I have notified the Ex,
I have bought return tickets,
I have reserved a portion of a semi from a handy-dandy moving company,
I have...I have...oh, shit, the trampoline! I hope it fits.
I have reserved a rental car for the week we are there, since my car is here
and the distance between there and here is...about 2700 miles which at these prices cost me about $700 in gas just to get out here and flying 3 people costs 800 so why not skip the 4 days of hellish torment, plus hotels and food which would drive the total past $1000 without any trouble??
That's what I thought.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
That was a mixture of relief and exhaustion, in case you're wondering.
This summer has flown by at mach speed and it's not getting any less busy anytime soon.
We have just over two weeks left until the week in Utah and then we'll have another 2 weeks until school starts but as we adults all know, that kinda time is going to pass in the slow blink of two happy eyes.

Happy...
That's an emotion I was pretty far out of touch with for a while.
But I've found it again and even if it is buried beneath a heap of stress and planning right now there is just nooooo frickin way that I'll be taking it for granted any time soon.
I have a second chance at happiness and I will not squander it.
I will not, I will not!

Hoe
Lee
Shit.

Maybe if I say it enough it will begin to sink in:
I am moving HOME.
I get to move home....
finally.
Oh, god, finally!
After all these years of aching for the ocean, yearning for a comprehensible social structure, keening for good seafood and hardworking people where the majority of the people aren't obsessed with appearances and my kids will not face ostracism just for our religious beliefs (or lack thereof...).
Praise jesus, I am HOME!!!

And with this return to New England comes my ability to be near family and friends again who once defined me--who helped shape the best parts of me--and maybe, just maybe, I will find myself again in their reflections.

I have so much to do it's not even funny...
I am so loved it's not even funny.
I am getting in shape again so fast it's not even funny.
And yet...I sure do seem to laugh a lot...hmm...funny.

***********
The sun setting over Megunticook Lake, the kids play with a ridiculously large amount of enthusiasm while J and I lie on towels and hash over our lives with equal zeal.




On my bike ride the other day, when I discovered a GIANT patch of raspberries, the picture of which has been accidentally deleted, but my kick ass helmet still deserves its moment in the sun:



At the end of the woods trail where I found the wild raspberries there is a wide, sloping hill I like to call, "Blueberry Fields Forever"...mostly because it borders an AWESOME, old cemetary....hehee...


I am now on my way out to go kayaking.
I have been biking 5-10 miles a day for the past week, minus one day wherein I hiked instead and one day on which it rained too much...I'm at 6 days out of the last 8.
WOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!
Damn, I love exercise!

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