Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Beautiful nights...

I just went for a walk in the beautiful winter sunshine.
It is in the 40s, feels like spring.

I keep starting and stopping.
Can’t seem to find the right topic—
My thoughts are not scattered, they are lunging in twelve directions at once!
I feel more centered and happy than I have in a long time...
I am Me.
I own myself again...that marriage seems like a book I read once, that woman seems like an old friend.
Utah finally seems like a choice, and because of that I hate it less, but...

This week is going to fly by and then it’ll be time for skiing.
And writing.
There is no reason I shouldn’t get paid giant gobs of money for splattering the images in my head across paper.

I am ready.
For everything.

Ok, so now that my head has cleared (somewhat)...
Can I just take a moment and dwell on the magnificence of the other night?
I looked pretty hot, first of all—black pin-striped pants, grey wife beater, bad-ass belt and bracelet, hair down and wild.
I loved walking into a dance club with “Rock” tattooed on my forehead…
I loved getting lost in the rhythm of the unfamiliar songs,
And I love the DJ for knowing I needed to hear lots of old school stuff and for playing every current dance song I know.
As I drove to the city, I began a conversation and it didn’t fade when I got to the club…
I put my ID and my cash and my lip gloss and keyless clicker in my pocket and hesitated.
I looked at my phone, the flush of flirtation still warm on my cheeks and I was in a white space, a place where there was nothing else to hear or see or want….
The phone giggled and leapt into my other pocket, giving me a suspicious bulge on my hip, ruining the line of my silhouette.
I smiled and locked the car.
This place was cool...a bit of an older crowd so I didn’t have to feel out of place, huge screens all over the top half of the high walls playing videos of the songs.
We went straight to the floor and didn’t stop dancing for hours—
Pausing once for the bathroom,
Once for a tall glass of water.
The whole time my body moved, my eyes stayed on the screen of my phone...
I couldn’t feel the vibrations in my pocket,
But I seemed to pull it out to check every time there was a new message.
Your words.
They trickled into me,
They shivered through me,
They rushed to my head, while the blood flowed south.
My body is a compass and you became my North Star.
The music fell around me like rain, but I was in a patch of sunshine,
lighting up the whole room.
Your words heated up—the pace quickened, like my pulse—
Our bodies connected across the dark expanse of the sleeping country.
My battery came
to dying...
and then it was time to go the car and I plugged in my charger and handed the keys to dear S and they giggled at me, having a love affair with my phone…
Then we cruised Taco Bell and I got hot sauce all over my keyboard as I willed myself to disappear into that phone and catch a ride on the transmitting signal.

Everyone should have a Friday night like that.

Have a happy Sunday, everyone.

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