Friday, September 08, 2006

It's a grey day

And I'm feeling a little frustrated.
Hopefully I can do better next time.
Hopefully I can learn how to interview people...
Fuck.
So, that restaurant I was supposed to write about?
Turns out it wasn't supposed to be a review after all.
I don't know how much more of this I'm willing to put up with, honestly.
I was not told it wasn't a review--
I was told to interview the guy and see what I could find for a story.
Guess what this SEASONED, 2-interview journalist found from a couple of guys who only wanted to talk about the restaurant?
Nada.
Not a damn thing.
I will share in the blame:
as I said, I am new to interviewing.
Not only that, but I never read newspapers, so I don't even have the feel of what a "good" news story is.
I also didn't know I was supposed to be WRITING a news story.
I thought it was supposed to be an overview of the place, with some history/background info.
No mention was ever made of "Hey, make sure you're not writing a review."
Bah.
I know, D-man, I kow--
that's what writing for a paper is all about.
Journalism sucks balls.
No, I take that back.
I would rather suck just about anyone's (freshly washed and disease-/cootie-free) balls than do this.
And the great news is that I have 2 more interviews to arrange and collect for an article due by Wednesday, and 2 plays to watch this weekend to review--
and then probably get told I am not allowed to review them.
I'll give it a couple of weeks, but after that, I'm hitting the road.
It is sucking my will to write, and I don't really need that.
I do know that I wouldn't want to write for a newspaper again, though.
I need to be my own boss...
("Oh, dear dad, can you see me now? I am myself like you somehow...")

Sorry for the whiney rant...
I should probably have breakfast before reading my stories.
Ok, so not only did I write a pretty great review (well, it had some funny lines, at least) which then got stripped down to the facts of the interview, but THAT got cut just about in half and is left dry and lifeless.
It sucks--hard and with teeth.
I am thinking that maybe the editorial process could be changed.
I don't know.
Maybe he wants me to quit.
Maybe he's trying to get me to quit by making all my articles look like shit.
Maybe someone's paranoid...
It's really a bad article, though.
And I wrote a pretty decent one.
I feel terrible...and this is why I'm ranting.
Do I care if my words are fucked with?
Eh, not that much.
I'm an egotistical writer, sure, but the main reason this is pissing me off is that I looked those guys in the eye (the restaurant owners, and yes, they share an eye, what of it??) and told them I would write a good article.
Because I know how to write.
I forgot the tiny little part about the editor and his axe.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I feel like I let them down.
And I tried hard not to, but they aren't going to know that.
I'm half-tempted to take in a copy of what I originally wrote, just so they know I tried...but all that does is make the paper look bad.

I hate it.

I have a dentist appointment at 9, shit! I better fucking go shower!! Dammit.
And then...
the gym.
And then...
kids home from school and go pick up babysitter so I can go to my Chronicle class.
Fuck.
I am far too emotional at the moment to talk to the editor, but I really should.
I should also not be writnig about newspaper stuff on here, in case someone finds me.
Oh well.
Fuck it.
I just need to ask him what the hell he wants from me.
It sounds like I missed the greatest year to be on the staff--
last year they had restaurant reviews,
last year they had hilarious, great columns.
For some stupid ass reason, the head editor has said, "No more columns in A&E".
what the fuck???
Those are the best part!!
Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
What do I know?

Ok, like I said, I gotta run.
I have precisely 35 minutes to eat, shower, and dress, so I better run.

Wish me happy teeth cleaning!



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